h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good thing it was practicly bald anyway.
*squirts EC with acid*

And probably will!

HOLY *********** SON OF A **********! THAT BURNS WITH THE BURNINATING POWER OF THREE TROGDORS (who was a man, well a dragon man, well just a dragon but he was still Trogdor the burninator)!

Too bad I could only find it strong enought to make him bald. Who wants to see a bald cat?

I CAN FEEL THE ACID EATING AT MY BONES! *dissolves*

* flies away to collect life insurance money for Sporky´s college fund before EC returns to life again*

*is quite dead*

Did I miss label the acid bottles, I thought we were out of Hydrocluric acid. *shrugs and leaves to check acid labels*

*ghost of EC looks at bottles* You actually splashed me with dragon's blood.

Darn, gotta blame chemist for putting blood with acids, even if its acid blood, it then goes with acid bloods

welp. I'll be returning to life pretty soon.

*looks for baldifying acid*
*finds it puts some in fresh bottle*

*looks for and finds a +9 against Dragons sword* This'll cut through him like an enchanted butter knife +2 through butter.

*wears dragon armor with a +9 defense (and critical resistant) againts swords*

... ... *takes 30-second lessons in Beastmastery* *learns Control Dragons* *learns to evilly chuckle*

*casts forget last few things forever, and read a book on will-power*

*doesn't forget ironically* *casts Control Dragon*

Dragon order: read The Hobbit instead. *dragon Anole does so* See! A dragon can be called a wyrm as a sign of respect!

*dragon miss reads the book "Control Yourself with Will-Power" for the book "The Hobbit"*

It also doesn't help that you're reading it upside down which coincedentally makes the exact same text as an ancient spell for summoning demons.

*a demon appears*
Fred: Yo. I'm fred the demon. Whats youse wants?

*eats Fred*
*flips book*