h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Julayla begins looking around* Look... the suitcase burst open when the Jag slewed to a halt. Oh dear. Those diamonds were loose. And the backseat is totally covered with pebbly pieces of glass.

*looks at the erstwhile Dagmar before crawling back into the car and sweeping up pieces of glass, mumbling to herself* I ~thought~ there was something different about him.

Affy-I can answer your question, Werewolf. The real Dagmar does not exist except on paper. He was found by the parents who raised him, and they concealed the fact that Dagmar was not really their true son. After several DNA experiments, it was found that Dagmar was, in actuality, the son of an ensign on some ship, who survived a ridiculous time traveling ordeal, only to lose his life when slapped on the back to hard by his superior!

Hans-But,....how do you know that?

Affy-Can you keep a secret?

Hans-Yes.

Affy-So can I.

*Multiple groans from audience, especially from those who saw the movie "Clue"*

another?

Fine. There is no real Dagmar. But what have you done with this son of a ... sailor that was raised as Dagmar and whom you were impersonating?

(Yo - this is your queue. Remove your disguise )

After many people had tried to get rid of me, as the "real" adopted son of the Lord and thus rightful owner of the jewels, I decided to dissapear. It was hard at first, finding a person that could impersonate me so I just left for Hawaii and told the family that I was out to lunch. I took a round about flight buying many airline and train tickets to different places and from those place to others, sending endless impersonators everwhere to evade anyone who would be following. I stayed in paradise for a couple of months, keeping in contact with only a couple people: Lord R, some guy I met at a tiki(?) bar named Yo, and, although I tried, I could never get ahold of Julayla. She was always off at a party or something or other. Then I started getting strange answers to the phone, one saying that she was out with her fiancée...that was me I though, and I started to wonder.

Then I got this call from Yo, it appears he had moved up in life, instead of just dylithium smuggling he had joined STUMPED. He called about this invitation to my former mansion. I was interested no doubt and asked if I could go in his stead for I wanted to see how things where going (besides he owed me one, I had paid for his 15 PGGBs at the bar)...and boy did I. Then the clencher was when I saw this guy getting away with my Jewels and my Girl, well you can imagine!

*Hans discretely pushes a button on the dashboard. The side panels of the car fall off, as do the hood (bonnet), trunk (boot), wheel covers and roof, to reveal an old fashioned convertible, complete with spoked wheels and running boards. A set of wings spread from under the running boards as Hans guns the engine and, amazingly, takes off. Literally. As he begins to fly away in the car which has dropped its disguise, he yells:*

You'll never catch me in my Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

This room 13 must be *very large* to fit in all these vehicles etc. - shouldn't this conversation have moved onto the "Front Door" thread?

OOC well we did all run outside...

*Red continues to watch the action from the window of Room 13*


There. How's that?

applauds Yowzupman's belated denouement and splendid addition to the thread


*breathless (from gathering up all the glass pebbles into which the Gotobed-Soonne jewels (which were loose) had become mixed and shoving them back into the suitcase just before the Jaguar transformed)*

Oh, Dagmar!

*hugs the suitcase, keeping it between here and Dagmar's gun*

[OOC] why thank you



Darling, you are positivley glowing! You did get all the jewels right? It is soo good to be amoungst friends and family again!

I have no clue what is going on...

Just keep drinking the and it might start to make sense...

It's all very clear to me


*Detective Fulovit holsters his gun with a sigh as the car flys out of sight.*

Soooooo close!

*He looks around at the group to see if anyone else could possibly be in disguise. He notices Affy, who as yet hasn't removed any part of his face. He reaches over and tugs gently on one ear.*

Oh! Sorry.

Snavig.

*Affy's appearances change to that of Detective Fulovit, before rapidly changing back*

Happy now?

So. I think we've figured out all of the backstory to those jewels by this time. Only one order of buisiness remains as far as I'm concerned.

*Affy whistles, and his hover-coach (manned by Ampton) returns. Affy reaches inside, pulls out a strange cube-shaped object, and tosses it into the air. It smashes through the window of Room 013, enlarges itself, and totally envelopes Red. The (now fairly rectangular) cube shimmers for a few moments before shrinking out of existence*

Althian Telekinetic Cribs. Always keep one or two lying around. He should be in a cell at the CLI Brig by now. I've had his cell set aside since the day STUMPED began its first initiation procedures.

Hmmm... those things could be... useful...

How precisely can you set the destination? Say, as a completely arbitary example, I set the destination to be my empty glass, and somehow slipped the cube into the finishing vats at the brewery...?

*Julayla walks over to the Harley, opens one of the saddlebags and pours all the glass and jewels in, then straps it shut and waits for Dagmar to mount so she can climb on the postilion*

*Detective Fulovit says:*

Well, looks like my job here is finished.

*He looks at his watch.*

Holy Akmuht! Is that the time? Well, gotta go, folks. Nice to meet you all.

*He picks up his suitcase, mumbling something about evidence and jogs down the road, jingling.*