h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Mew careens into the room]

}YK! What are you doing!?{

[He enters the room behind where the bookcase would be if it was closed]

[Dylan, YK's IRL identity, appears through a breach in the Continuity Continuum. He takes out a detergent bottle emblazoned with the words "Continuity Bleach" and pours it on YK. He then uses it to close the breach. YK and everything related disappear from this forum]

{I must admit, that was VERY well done!}

[Mew teleports back in and enters the secret room]

(Did I describe the secret room already? I can't remember)

[YES! I can't STAND the suspense!]

(The room is still fairly uninteresting as there's nothing in it except the monitors and the door that won't open.)

[Mew shrugs and exits]

[Mew returns, with the air of someone who has just told a Murkrow off. He looks around for anything new]

I'm "dead" now and working under orders from "The Host"



~Mew finds that on his desk have been placed a hollow reed, a dart (poisoned) and a letter. The letter reads thus:

Mew,
I have some shocking news. I know who's behind Minos' murder, and by the time you find this, I'll have become a victim, too. I'ts CHOPPERS. I know, it's sickening to think this whole thing was staged by the good guys, but Garius Lupus killed off Minos Krymla, I just can't prove it.

I'm coming to you because you're neutral, and I think we can keep suspicion from falling on you. I need you to kill Garius. It's drastic, I realize, but it's our only hope. Not only are you neutral, but if you use this blowgun and dart they'll never think of you, because of course a PokŽmon would use it's powers, not a weapon. Destroy this note!

/The Masque

[Mew boggles and takes the blowdart. He then puts an SEP field around himself and flies out]

[Mew returns and uses METRONOME. He rocks back and forth, going tick, tock, and then he uses FIRE BLAST to French Fry the note.]

[Sorry, meant FLAMETHROWER.]

[Since nothing seems to happen since then, Mew teleports back to the Sitting Room]

*The door in the secret room quietly opens and GL enters, carrying an android that looks just like Mew. GL brings the android into the main room and puts it on the bed. He walks over to the writting table and composes a note to Mew:


Dear Mew,

I have reason to believe that your life is in danger. I am supplying you with an android, so that should any attempt be made on your life, it will be the android that is harmed instead of you. The controls for the android are in your secret room, which you have already discovered. I suggest you immediately repair to that room and close the secret door. The TV monitors there will allow you see through the android's eyes. I expect to see you soon.

---A Friend.


GL leaves the note beside the android and walks back into the secret room. He briefly sits at the controls and ensures that the android is working properly. He then leaves the way he came and shuts the door.*

[Hereinafter, indicates Mew dematerializing, and rematerializing]


Mew?

[reads note and enters control room]

Mew!

[Mew makes the Mewdroid bounce around on the bed]

[Mewdroid] Mew! Mew! [giggle]

*WM slips into Mew's room without knocking. She can't help but to see Mew/Mewdroid bouncing on the bed.*

Alright, Mew, it looks like it's time to do the deed. Ummm, you better give me a sign or something. I really can't tell if that's the ~real~ you or not.

And another thing... I think you know I belong to neither STUMPED nor CHOPPERS. I'm just your average ordinary researcher looking for a little adventure. So work with me on this one, okay? Stop bouncing and hold still for a bit.

(usually I just use "lol" as a quick way of acknowledging something's humour... but this time I really did Laugh Out Loud!)

["Mew" floats over to WM, and then the real Mew performs a sort of telepathic ventriloquism]

}Hi. Why do I sense danger?{