h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Listen laddie, otters don't have it as easy as you think, it's all a cunning ploy. we made ourselves look cute so that you wouldn't eat us or attack us.
Speaking from personal experience, When i was an otter many many years ago we had to work for our living, and work hard we did, every day we would be out there swimming in the cold waters fetching things from the bottoms of streams that you humans dropped in. Let me tell you it wasn't all roses, no we had to pick up old supermarket trolleys with just our snouts, did we run to our trade union? did we complain about rusty hooks giving us tetanus? Did i complain when i found old mrs smith lying at the bottom of Loch Linne wearing only her garters and floral apron? no? i just shook my little snout and me and the boys lifted her up for the policemdn waiting at the bank. I even won an award for that little job. Did i moan? no... and i'll tell you why not... we knew that in return you humans would give us the small favour of throwing bits of bread our way, occasionaly taking amusing photos of us to be sold in newsagents world wide and cleaning up the rivers ... which i may add was their fault in the first place. Did we get time of to go to Lanzarotte? No, i couldn't even get time off to go to the pub and watch the football on a sunday afternoon. And when you tell young people that today, they don't believe you