h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My Sauron the Dark Lord entry has been picked.

When this and the Elves, Orcs, and Hobbits entries are all in the Guide, the subject of Tolkien will be pretty much covered, other than a review of the movie The Return of the King (there are reviews of the other two Peter Jackson films), and something about Tolkien's writing system.

I'm not one for doing film reviews, and without the ability to add pictures easily the writing system would be a hard one to undertake, so I'll tick Tolkien off as completed in my book.

I'm Galad to know that, rielly Galad.

But your Tolkein ones are my favourites! You sure you can't be persuaded to tackle 'The Children of Hurin'?

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Maybe you'll convince him if you do a good enough job on "The Isle of Wight Poo Museum".

It's the National Poo Museum
Have you been?
It's the Island's Number 2 place to visit.
I really, really want to go.

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No I haven't been (excuse the pun)

I suspect it could be a passing fad.

"You sure you can't be persuaded to tackle 'The Children of Hurin'book ?" [Bluebottle]

What a funny old world this is! I had never heard of that before you mentioned it. I'm willing to give it a try.

The Children of Hurin is the only other story Tolkien wrote that is finished enough to make a movie of. But it's a tragedy and Hollywood doesn't like tragedies. Everything has to have a happy ending. The tale of Turin is the ultimate tragedy.

Mind you, given Peter Jackson's habit of expanding Tolkien's work, a lot could be made of the talw of the Mariner's Wife.

Plus audiences might not respond well to the inadvertent incest. Mind you, I reckon that Peter Jackson could do a film based purely on the Fall of Gondolin – he does love cities and castles under siege. I wouldn't put it past him to film The Battle of Unnumbered Tears, accompanied by 2 discs of extras that number them all…

I still think you should do an entry on the Barrow-wights. The Wights should have been in The Lord of the Rings much more.

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There's not a huge amount to say about barrow-wights, though.

One could do a story on actual barrow graves.

How about the aerodynamic exploits of Wilbur and Orville Wight?

One does not simply fly into Mordor.

I know about Irish barrows, but English ones seem to be different, and it is undoubtedly English ones that Tolkien was thinking of.

By the Irish definition, the barrows of the Barrow Downs appear to have been neolithic tombs of the passage, court or wedge variety. All three of these have a doorway of stone, known as a portal, into a chamber which is covered by an artificial mound. The doorway is blocked by another stone once the funeral has taken place. Frodo wandered into the barrow by going between two tall stones which he later realised were a doorway.

Irish barrows date from the Bronze age and have a burial chamber in the middle but no entrance portal.

BobStafford's written 7 entries about British barrows, but if Irish ones are different, then you could if you wished.

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Do burial chambers need entrances or exits?

How else would you put the body in?

How about an entry on how much 'Babylon 5' was inspired by 'The Lord of the Rings'?

Both have 'Rangers' and take place in 'the third age', and the Minbari are clearly based on Elves. Both feature a dark enemy that was considered defeated a thousand years ago and is now returning stronger than ever

The Vorlons, Shadows and other First Ones can be considered Valar, with the Shadows a combination of the Nazgul wraiths and Sauron himself. I suspect that Kosh is based on Gandalf, while Kosh is based on Saraman*.

LotR has Khazad-dum, B5 has Z'ha'dum. B5 has a character called Lorien. In LotR, Aragorn marries the Elf-turned-human Arwen, in B5 Sheridan marries the Minbari-turned-human Delenn.

Just as in LotR the Elves sail to the West to leave Middle Earth to Men, in B5 the First Ones and Techno-Mages 'Get the hell out of our Galaxy'. Just as Frodo sails to the West, Sheridan also gets the hell out of the Galaxy too at the end of his life. And at the end of LotR Aragorn re-unites the kingdoms, at the end of 'B5' Sheridan becomes president of the Interstellar Alliance.

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*It must be very confusing to be a postman in the B5 universe. Not only do you have Vorlons Kosh and Kosh, the inhabitants of Epsilon 3 include Zathras, Zathras, Zathras and Zathras and whenever you see an envelope addressed to 'The One' you have to ask if it is for the One that Is, the One that Was or the One that Will Be.

Ancient Irish neolithic tombs always had a ceremonial entrance. But it could have been a ceremonial exit, for the spirit to leave. At 4,000 years remmove, we don't know what those people thought.

Never seen Babylon 5.

My nephews used to be big fans of Babylon 5.

I was serious about wondering about entrances/exits to burial chambers. I know full well that you'd need to have a way to get the body inside, but once it's in there, would you brick over the entrance?