Journal Entries
13th November encryption
Posted Nov 13, 2013
Today I had the day from hell due to some encrypted files that refused to be opened. I'm too tired to write about it now.
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Latest reply: Nov 13, 2013
12th November 2013 A social life
Posted Nov 12, 2013
Being a spy isn’t naturally consistent with having a social life, part of the problem is the 100s of things you shouldn’t say but there is also the long absences which are hard to explain.
This weekend I’ve been putting some effort in to the ‘having friends’ part of my life. On Friday I went to the theatre to see ‘The Anatomy of Melancholy’. It was an amazing play; an attempt to put an Elizabethan medical textbook on the stage. It was packed full of Elizabethan medical terms, obscure remedies and toilet humour. I had to use my best spy skills as I was attending with the synagogue mums who have radical but ill-informed views on things like bed times, potty training and Palestine.
On Saturday I went to a bonfire party. There was a massive fire, lots of food and dangerously close fireworks. I drank rather a lot and may have let my guard down. One of the problems with being a spy is the need to have a lot of background knowledge in a variety of areas. As I spend a lot of time working with government and in the scary world of international finance I know rather a lot about public policy. At one point in the evening I reached the uncomfortable realisation that the last thing I said was.. ‘and then they passed the 1935 Road Traffic Act’ which suggested I’d strayed from small talk into a lecture on the history of bus regulation.
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Latest reply: Nov 12, 2013
10th November Tavel Documents
Posted Nov 11, 2013
Travel documents are important when you are an international spy. Last December my passport was captured in Paris and I was unable to leave the country until I had an emergency passport issued from the Consulate. This turned out to be a Kafkaesque process highlights of which include a police station with no signs on in any language, a consulate official who insisted I needed a police report to obtain a new passport, and a police officer who insisted I didn’t, an insurance company who claimed to have booked me a flight when they hadn’t and the discovery that standing tickets exist on the Eurostar.
Prior to the loss of my passport I was collecting a nice set of stamps and visas and it is to my ever-lasting regret that these have been lost. With this in mind I begin to look into visas for Bangladesh.. This gives me some interesting background into the alliances between Bangladesh and other countries. I’m surprised to find that passport holders of Ireland and Lestho can obtain visas on arrival.
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Latest reply: Nov 11, 2013
9th November assistant
Posted Nov 9, 2013
Today I discovered that my personal assistant has been signing her letters 'Bond'. This could possibly compromise my cover.
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Latest reply: Nov 9, 2013
8th November How does James Bond stay so slim?
Posted Nov 8, 2013
I've been putting on weight gradually since I started this job. I spend roughly one night a week away from home, sleeping in hotels, eating out on expenses and having that extra glass of wine. Restaurants tempt me with dessert menus and cheese. Breakfast is usually at a lavish buffet. Then there are the gala events where wine and good food flow freely. The trips abroad where I feel honour bound to try the local cusine... The 'special' meals with my son at home to make up for the long absences...
I never seem to have time for the gym and I'm likely to be left standing in a roof top chase..
So this is my question..how does he do it?
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Latest reply: Nov 8, 2013
Storm
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