Journal Entries
That's a wasted vote then!
Posted Dec 12, 2019
"Excuse me, but there seems to be a Party missing on the ballot paper?"
"Only the candidates that are standing in this Ward are on the slips"
"So I can't vote for Emperor Ming the Merciless?"
"Only the candidates that are standing...."
"So no Ming then?"
"Only the candidates....."
People of Earth, he will not be happy.....All Hail Ming!
Discuss this Journal entry [4]
Latest reply: Dec 12, 2019
Plan bee...build the Ark...please!
Posted Dec 4, 2019
I know..let's dress up like bees and glue ourselves to the government's diesel guzzling bus! That'll show them!
Erm, hey, Meadow, don't wanna be all heavy but...
Hey this is a safe place Butterfly, speak you mind...
Erm the Liberals aren't erm actually the man.. man.
Ah ok..?. we'll glue ourselves to this eco damaging diesel bus then!
Ermm, Psst, Meadow it's an electric vehicle dude! It's what we want all the dudes to travel in!
Ah, ok?...I'll glue myself to this eco friendly bus, to show a political party who aren't in power, who agree with our movement, that erm....
Erm and Meadow...?
Yes, what now you annoying ****?
Just saying, that glue is a petroleum byproduct, just read the label!
And this my friends is why we needs an Ark B.
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: Dec 4, 2019
Everyone needs cuddles.
Posted Dec 2, 2019
A small part of paulh's Hooverville story really touched me the other day. One of my characters was based on a lovely guy I used to know and Paul brought back some memories for me. Thank you Paul.
Everyone needs cuddles.
Many years ago I had a workmate, lovely guy, not that you'd think so by looking at him, not that anybody ever looked too hard.
'Cuddles' was the type of guy you didn't stare at. Six seven and probably as broad as he was tall. Big scary biker type dude, all hair, tattoos and windburn. Tougher than leather, as Willie once sang.
Really, really nice guy, for those brave enough to get close.
And that was the problem, nobody did. Not really, myself included.
Good workmate, great sense of humour and always willing to put himself out for anyone. At work that was.
Once we'd clocked off and our bikes had turned their separate ways that was it. No after work drinks, didn't attend Christmas parties, leaving dos, invitations to come over for a meal always politely refused. Stopped asking him to come for a ride with the lads after the umpteenth refusal.
Bit of a loner, a big, scary looking, but very polite loner. Each to his own.
Very private guy, always changed the subject when we talked about our wives and/or girlfriends. Cuddles wore a big heavy wedding ring but never spoke of his home life. Ever. Five years we worked together, not one word.
Then, one early shift, I pulled up in the car park and there was Cuddles, sitting astride his big Honda, engine running. Head slumped, shoulders heaving. Cuddles, big, scary looking Cuddles was crying like a baby.
Turns out Cuddles was married. His husband had lost his fight like so many did in the eighties.
This big scary looking dude had been terrified of revealing his 'secret' at work, worried about the response from his colleagues if they knew he was living and caring for someone he loved, someone who was dying of the most dreaded disease of the time.
That's why he refused to come on works nights out, refused to meet up, have a drink, even talk about his life.
We spent most of that day talking, laughing and crying together, work forgotten, he just poured his heart out, relieved that he was accepted and loved for who he was, but sad that he'd felt the need to keep the most important part of his life unnecessarily covered up.
Really enjoyed his friendship over the next eighteen months.
He eventually moved away, we kept in touch for a few years until I heard the sad news he'd passed away too, losing a brief battle with cancer.
I hope Cuddles and his husband have been reunited and are riding together through the afterlife, just being themselves, happy together again.
Never judge a book by the cover, there may be someone underneath that big, scary looking exterior, someone who just needs a cuddle.
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Latest reply: Dec 2, 2019
Ghost Office job.
Posted Nov 25, 2019
Nearly through November, and not one word about anything supernatural in my tale for the Post.
So.... Just been annoyed by the bloody demonic postman banging the hell out of my front door to try and deliver a letter for next door but one. Poor guys do a rough job.....
My job's not exactly all potter's wheels and Whoopi Goldberg!
Which is exactly why I hated contacting the living.
They all had this arty farty preconception that any message from the 'other side' would be accompanied by heart-warming cinemagraphic flashbacks and an upbeat soundtrack.
How wrong they were!
The Druids (and, more recently, Goths and Metalheads) were closer to the mark, but still, way, way off the awful truth.
I suppose box office takings would plummet if Demi found herself vomiting cockroaches whilst a lake of acidic fire burned her from the inside out?
Try smiling wistfully into camera whilst your legs become molten lava and your brain feels like a thousand icicles are growing inward to freeze your soul.
Get the idea? Messages from here are not nice.
The 'gift' of clairvoyants, mediums, spiritualists, shamen, seers, saints or prophets, whatever, is much more of a curse (which is probably why most of them go barking mad, or were nutjobs long before their spiritual pagers beeped).
Today, for example, (we'll call it 'today' - as time is another one of those concepts that really, truly, doesn't go exactly like you think, not even close! Whoever said 'as sure as night follows day' was delusional) a brief message from Beyond for a young lad from his beloved grandfather.
Standard 'I'm fine, better place, don't eat yellow snow, yadder, yadder, yadder'. Economy message, receipt required.
To be honest, I'd given up even registering the actual messages, just do my job, ignore the insect vomit, and get the heck out of there before the screaming started.
The, erm, conduit, I suppose, had (until that moment) been dabbling with the idea of joining the clergy, fascinated by all things Heavenly and Divine.
*Now I lay me down to sleep…..* Poor little love.
In my reality, I'd given a soft, polite cough, the kind of hint the English give at the Post Office when they know the counter person is probably ignoring them on purpose, but is too polite to have a good rant.
In your reality, my soft 'ahem' sounded more like Joshua and his thugs had blasted their rendition of Ace of Spades at full volume on their stupid ram's horns into both ears!
And...yup...cue the retching...here it comes...ooh, millipedes, bit unusual!
I stepped cautiously over the molten legs and whispered the message into those burning ears, my soft words turning into icy soul piercing daggers (as bleeding usual!).
Message delivered, just before the inhuman wailing began, I held out the receipt.
*And just a signature here please guv! Ta...you have a good day now!*
Two more deliveries and bingo, shift done, I could get out of this stupid uniform and go down the pub!
Hate this time of year, all the extra messages to deliver, no thanks, no tips, I wish I'd stayed at school….could've been an angel by now, cushy bloody job that'd be!
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Nov 25, 2019
Choices, choices...
Posted Oct 27, 2019
Remember, remember? My thoughts for November?
Choices choices again.
Riding around Hooverville in a light-hearted rom-com?
Dodging the kill squads as a pregnant Society Agent, knowing my baby has been sentenced to execution for future crimes?
Or popping in to an alternate 'verse where the great-granddaughter of Gafael presides over a stagnating Society, hoping for the days of majick to return?
Eeny meeny miny…
Discuss this Journal entry [4]
Latest reply: Oct 27, 2019
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