h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have been called weird a lot, actually an awful lot, of times....but at stupid o'clock this morning I may have witnessed a collision between two types of spacecraft!

Cigar shaped one drops from the sky and hovers, then a saucery one appears, and very bright swirls of light spiral down the cigar at the 'point of impact'...may have just been a caffeine overload or a freak cloud formation...either way I'll get the tinfoil out later!

just confirms I'm weird!

It's official.

If you're weird, then I enjoy weird!

Sometimes I get so sick of the combed-over madman in Washington that I'd welcome being beamed up to a for an afternoon. I spent most of January hunkered down, holding my breath (figuratively speaking) about the government shutdown. I worried that lack of funding for the IRS might lead to default on bonds, bringing the world to its knees.

I'm fed up! .

Last night I saw "Alita,"a movie about a female cyborg whose technology had been state of the art 300 years earlier, just before the "Fall." I'll bet our president *caused* the fall.

The world moved on through time and space.

Species grew dominant, or survived, unremarkably in the background, life evolved or perished, and geological structures came and went in the space at hand,  grew or vanished with time.

Extinction was nothing new in the universe.

The current dominant life form spent their short lives having children, doing menial tasks, taking billions of photographs of food arguing about politics or religion and generally ignoring the cosmos.

A few dared to to look, up and out, but most never saw what they longed to see, spending life spans cataloguing far distant specks that they would never see,  puzzling over physics that was far beyond their understanding, and arguing, always arguing, about who was right and who was just an annoying geek.

Amongst the billions, even fewer  than the annoying geeks, a minute number actually saw.
Confused, annoyed, terrified by the confirmation, often unwanted, that they were really, truly, actually not alone.

Some argued the fact that they had seen and weren't just being slightly weirder than usual, some went mad, others became recluses and never shared their experience.

Carol, however, just sat in the works canteen, playing with the sugar  and complaining about the saucers.

Surely there must be more to this intriguing story?

There will be mate, work in progress....

2)

Ted waited impatiently, the Zamboni vibrating beneath him, causing ripples to move up and down all twenty-eight stone of him.

The dimensions of the big, square ice resurfacer mirrored in his huge, but very squat, frame.

Ted awkwardly reached up with meaty hands and checked for the umpteenth time his woolly hat covered the foil beneath.

Although the ice rink had a metal roof, Ted thought it was still prudent to keep them out, just in case.

Satisfied his befoiled dome was in place, he slouched over the wheel, and waited for the teenager to finish her very long session. All the other bloody kids had been collected by their relatives twenty minutes earlier.

Ted seethed as he watched her churn up his ice, her blades adding ever more spirals and circles with each twizzle and pivot.

The world moved on through time and space, unconcerned with Ted's foil protected dimensions or the relative who had totally forgotten to pick the girl up from skating.

3)

'Next item wsiting. K.9. 0.0.D. Two of"

"Okay!" Carol confirmed the order with the automated headset and set off down the vast warehouse to Aisle K, Row 9.

'Warning: one customer waiting! K.9.0.0.D. Two of!' The store's cyber system always sounded a little impatient if the order wasn't obtained within thirty seconds, the recorded male voice in Carol's right ear becoming slightly louder and more insistent.

"O.K!' She unconsciously quickened her pace, eager to please the cyber-master.

It had taken her months to find a job that was suitable, totally enclosed space, times to suit her family commitments and, most importantly, no windows and a steel roof. She couldn't risk upsetting the company and losing her job again.

Aisle K. Row 9. Top shelf, four in.

"Order complete, ok!"

'OK!" The cyberman sounded pleased in her ear.

She threw the pirate toy into the hopper and awaited further instructions, watching Captain Jack disappear along the vast network of conveyer belts.

Glancing at her watch, Carol raced off towards the staff room, unplugging the headset as she ran, second time this week she'd totally forgotten to pick her daughter up from skating!

4)

Eve sat, knees pulled up to her chest against the cold, waiting in the darkened rink.

She smiled to herself despite her mood, as the curses of the Zamboni operator reached her from the still brightly lit ice.

She loved watching the sweepers at the rear of the Ice Warrior, two brushes, angling in and out, jets of water polishing away the scratches and scrapes from hundreds of blades, leaving the ice smooth and perfect.

Ted cursed again as the sweeping angle was adjusted with a clunk. Intricate spirals carved into his ice refused to be smoothed, Ted cranked up the Warrior, ice crystals scattering as the vibrations threatened an adipose avalanche into a sweat sea. Devil of a job finally done, the Warrior left the pristine surface and the lights died.

Cold enveloped Eve, she glanced at the time again. God her mum was crap!

Chattering teeth finally forced her out of the rink and into the warm summer evening.

Not a cloud in the sky, but Eve was careful to put her umbrella up before stepping into the car park.

The bright blue brolly (carefully lined with strong turkey foil left over from Christmas) shielded her as the brilliant stars danced above her head.

She waved half-heartedly as the ancient Fiat Sontara pulled into the lot, Carol apologising profusely even before the door creaked open

5)

Carol failed to notice the two identical vans in the car park.

The bright logos proclaiming they were part of the 'U-Knit' craft store chain...if she'd seen them.

The girls went on to fail to notice one of the U-Knit vans pulling out of the lot and totally failed to realize that they were being followed home.

Twenty minutes later, foil hat now hidden by a rather jaunty Fedora, Ted squeezed his frame into the tiny Mazda Missy and headed home, the second brightly painted U-Knit van thirty seconds behind him

This is getting really interesting...

Probably too long for the Post

Nah. When you're finished, we'll figure out how to break it up for a serial. That way, it'll be archived, and everybody can read it.

Cool.

I will need to read it all again as I search for the hidden clues to what really went on.....

There are quite s few clues in there mate! Lol

I'll email you when I've got the end sorted DG. Already have the image!

Ah, then there may be a denouement coming .

Wonderful!

Done and mailed,