Hello
This is my personal space. Please back up. No, a little more. Your nose is still too close, please retract it.
Does your species have personal space? No? Let me explain the concept, as it is one humans have carefully developed over thousands of years, and is dreadfully important to the species.
Personal space is the physical area around one's corporeal form (that is to say, their "body") wherein if another's corporeal form encroaches in some way it makes the previously mentioned being extremely uncomfortable.
It is not marked in any way and it is utterly arbitrary depending on the being in question, and often times can be totally ignored if alcohol has been ingested. To be safe you should keep all protuberances as close to your own being as possible, exist just far away enough that you can hear and see the other being as well as hear and be seen. This should keep awkwardness (a state fatal to most human beings) to a minimum.
.
If you think you may have induced awkwardness signs to look for include:
lack of focus by occular apparatus (they will not "look" at you with the orbs located towards the top of their cognitive appendage)
tactile appendages will withdraw further into previously defined "personal space"
An increase of blood flow to cognitive appendage, resulting in a pronounced red color (note: also a sign of the human condition "embarrassment" which is closely related to "awkwardness" and can be just as fatal).
Now that you have grasped the concept of personal space, kindly remove yourself from mine.
If further reading is required, I recommend referencing this article.
Some basic facts about this human being:
Female
Has experienced approximately 24 full orbits of the planet Earth around it's star (colloquially known as "the Sun")
As is a condition of it's species, tends to think it is much more intelligent than it actually is.
Has never met a dolphin or a mouse. Possibly a contributing factor to it's inflated sense of cognitive ability.
Easily amused, demonstrates a clear bias towards humor related activities.
I hope this basic introduction has provided a frame of reference for your understanding of this individual. Please submit your questions, signed in triplicate, to the appropriate office.
Conversations
| Conversation Title | Latest Post | Latest Reply |
|---|---|---|
| Corrupt-A-Wish! | Apr 29, 2013 | 5 Weeks Ago |
| Four word postings only! | Apr 29, 2013 | Oct 4, 2013 |
| excellant article | Apr 29, 2013 | No Replies |
| A Warm Welcome | No Posting | Apr 29, 2013 |
Mary Cucumber
Researcher U14998388
Entries
Most Recent Edited Entries
- This user has not written any Edited Entries.
Entries
- This user has not written any Edited Entries.
Disclaimer
h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of Not Panicking Ltd. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."