h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Allright, this is a fun little game. It goes like this: Person A makes a wish. Person B is the genie, demon, pixie, or whatever other supernatural entity that is being wished to. Person B has to come up with some way to corrupt Person A's wish into something that, technically fits into the bounds of the wish, but is not what Person A wanted. Person B then comes up with their own wish, which it is up to Person A, C, D, or anyone else to corrupt in turn. None of the traditional "rules" apply, you can wish for death, love, etcetera, just be warned that it will not be how you expected it.

Well, let's start then.

I wish for a puppy.

I have several small hyenas for sale Ð just weaned and love children Ð especially fresh ones.for

I wouldn't mind a Ducati 999.

I have a wet cat who is trained to receive inbound emergency calls for the police, paramedic and coastguard service (Dew Catty 999 - u may groan if u wish!)

I wish for a green and pleasant land

I have a small flat in the occupied area of Ghaza to let - REALLY cheap.

I long for a quiet weekend.

Your wish is granted. Your weekend seems to stretch into eternity when you become shipwrecked on a desert island, without even three CDs to keep yourself entertained.

I wish for a Double-Bacon Cheeseburger.

Your job application for Manager of MacdonaldÕs in Bagdad has been approved. Please be ready to fly there tomorrow.

I need a new pair of socks

Your wish is granted. One sock is buried 200 feet inside the Rocky Mountains and is guarded by 16 pythons. The other is to be found 20 000 leagues under the sea in the mouth of a ferocious dark-sea shark. Enjoy the journey.

I wish for a loving partner

I have just reincarnated Medusa for you Ð 3-in-1 Ð it canÕt be bad.

I want a ham sandwich and a pint of WadworthsÕ XXX

Your wish is granted. Here is a pig which you must kill, slice and cure. Here is wheat, yeast and milk - a kiln is available 200 miles away by foot. Here is 57 thimbles each an exact quotient to make up an entire pint. Enjoy your feast.

Ooops forgot my wish!

I wish for another £2000

One game of Monopoly is in the post - more than you wished for.

I now want a meat cleaver, two tunns and half an acre of land.

Here is a one-way ticket with a time machine to a farm in ancient Norway

I wish for world peace

You have just been appointed as Coffee Annan's successor and president of Haliburton.


I want some garlic.

Have a dead , you can pry it out of his jaws!

I wish for my pizza to come soon

(And said gentleman's name is Kofi - was that a joke?)

Here you are! One frozen . (Well, you didn't say you wanted it cooked!)

I want £1,000,000 in my bank account.

I will send you five or six contacts per day (courtesy of BG) offering that and much more. All you have to do is give them your account number. Where do you want it from?

I want Microsoft to stop dominating the world.

I'll send out a supervirus right away!


I'd like the cat to come in

Granted. A ravenous Saber-Toothed Tiger is now roaming the halls of your home.

I wish that it didn't take so long for games to be developed and released, without any downward trend in the quality of the games.

Alright - have your next game in the original Russian - the translators often mess up anyway!

I wish my boss would pay me!