h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

NYC I must thank you for arranging that wonderful massarge, so thoughtful of you

*NYC stares a Happy, then at the goons, who looked disheartened*

[NYC] What? You HAD to have beaten the stuffing out of him!

[goon 1] Well boss, we tried, but he refused to admit pain! Lenny, show him your knuckles.

[goon 2] *shows blood-soaked and heavily dented brass knuckles* I don't know how he did it! Most guys break bown sobbing just after three hits! he took twelve!

[goon 1] If you want, we'll keep trying... I hate to leave someone with stuffing left...

[NYC] Go right ahead. You all remembered to bring baseball bats, didn't you? *all four brandish baseball bats* Fine. Let's do this right. *NYC pulls out a baseball bat, and joins the fray*

Happy decides it might be time for a workout - so he decides accept NYC's & his goons challange of a fencing match
[Happy uses his feather duster to try and fend off the baseball bats]

[Ancba considers his options and grabs HappyDude by the collar. He then uses the martial art, Krath'Dah to smash Happy Dude against all available walls, the floor, and ends up with him sticking through the ceiling]

Hey! It's piñata time!

*NYC motions to the four goons, and they all take turns swinging at Happy, who is still currently stuck in the ceiling*

[NYC] *swings, misses* aww, shucks...

[goon 3] *swings* *CRACK* haha! I got 'em!

[NYC] hey, you cheated! put that blindfold back on!

Tis true.........

time for some fun

Damn, need to work on my aim...

Hey guys I run out of beer could some one pass one up - with a straw ?

*Corrupt runs in the room, breathless*

*stammers* Kudos--Evillene--spaceship--heading--here--
WHAAAAAAAMMMMMMM
*the spaceship in question, formerly Sea's, has just crashed through the roof*

*Kudos staggers out, and he helps Evillene (pulling and tugging on nothing can be seen)*
Kudos: Aw, crap--did we have to crash in THIS forum?

Corrupt: *imitating Krylma's voice* Soduk, get in that chair! *points to the chair hookup for virtual torture*

*Kudos complies placidly*

Here we go again !

[Ancba pulls HappyDude out of the ceiling]

Could someone explain to me exactly who this Kudos character is?

Thanks

Ahem. Well, since Kudos is the horrible figment of my imagination, I believe I shall update you on who/what/why he is.

Better yet, I'll steal NYC's description of him from the other STUMPED page under "Other Recruits":

Kudos is a mysterious character who has dropped in the old
initiation forum, quite violently, and essentially reduced the
villians (and would-be villians) to binary until they gave him a
membership. What can I say? We don't particularly like being
turned into 0's and 1's. Unfortunately, he's now in the new
initiation forum reducing us villians (and would-be villians) to
random invertibrates...

...and this particular forum (if you care to look at the first few posts) is a result of Kudos's failed attempt at taking over STUMPED.

(http://www.h2g2.com/u150500 )

I see. So now you are simply abusing him.

[sea] isn't that what alter egos are for?

*sea gives the goons hugs for attempting to beat up happydude*

[sea] thanks for the effort, guys, but he's incapable of being tortured.

[rolls eyes]

wow, look at this mess....... *realizes hes been sober for way tooooooo long*

[Flopsy] Where's the Bar?

[Ancba] It doesn't matter. You aren't going.

[Flopsy] Drat!

Happy offers Flopsy some of his booze.

*NYC offers Happy a fish. Happy thanks him kindly. NYC then pulls a grizzly bear out of an undetermined point in the inner lining of his coat*

did I mention my big hairy friend here was cruely tortured as a former circus performer? he has a deep-seated hatred for clowns...

*Happy looks a bit nervous. he hides the fish behind him, but too late! the grizzly looks in his direction, growls, lumbers up to Happy, and cleanly bisects him with one swipe. The bear then takes the fish and returns to NYC's coat*

[sea] well THAT was original...

Happy crawls off to the first aid post