h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Happy crawls off to the first aid post

since when was there a first-aid post here? I thought SEA was the forum's first-aid post...

sea:

[Flopsy pours the booze into Happy's wounds]

Thankyou Flopsy - this forum aquired a first aid post when I decieded I kneaded one - its manned by a staff of dedicated volenteers - Sea if you want to join them you can - if you want to take over from them then your going to have to fight them

*sea giggles hysterically at the sight of the two halves of happy crawling away toward the first aid post*



*stunned silence*




[sea] we have a first aid post?! why didn't anyone tell me?

Come-on the ammount of damage we do to each other ? we have to have one

[sea] well then why the heck have I been heal-

*evillene leans over to sea and whispers in her ear. sea's eyes widen*

[sea] oh. never mind.

[NYC] evillene, can you fill me in on this last revelation? I think I might find this rather interesting...

[evillene] no.

[NYC] is that your final answer?

*evillene smacks NYC*

[evillene] that's for us to know, and you to alwyas wonder about.

*sea turns slightly pink in embarassment, then turns as red as a *

*comprehension dawns in NYC's head*

ahh... *NYC grins widely*

*sea turns an even brighter red. evillene laughs hysterically at her*

*mutters* Time for less talking, more torturing. Hmmmmm....

*the thoughtful "hmmmmm..." was brought about by the sight of an interesting piece of equipment in the corner, which Corrupt immediately recognises the signifigance of. She shoves Kudos into a seat and strapps him down. She catches Happy Dude and straps him to a seat next to him. She shoves weird looking helmets on their heads (see where I'm going with this?) and fires up the machine. Smoke billows from it, and clears, and Corrupt releases the two.*

Kudos:

Happy Dude: What the--NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! *looking at himself* I've become my arch-rival!!!!!!!!

*Corrupt snickers and disappears*

*sea stares at the newly switched happy-kudos and kudos-dude and ponders the continuity implications of the last post. then she shrugs and starts giggling*

--------------------------------
TIME OUT
--------------------------------

Just who am I now ?


--------------------------------
END TIME OUT
--------------------------------

Let me clarify...
Happy Dude, you are now a being that looks like Kudos but has your mind.
Kudos is a being that looks like Happy but has his own mind.
Get it???

[sea] like i said. kudos dude.

*sea looks at him and falls to the floor laughing*

Over the speaker system (hastily installed at great expense) comes the repetetive thumping of a simply constructed drum beat. A three-note base line joins it. Then, some random record-scratching is overlayed. Suddenly a door opens and Giguschild, the besuited Xenomorph, moonwalks backwards through the door. His claws skitter and slide accross the grating of the floor (also hastily installed) as he begins to twirl and slide in a wide circle around the group. As they turn to watch him, the tempo of the music begins to speed up, getting faster and faster as does Giguschild's speed. Rapidly he accelerates, spinning and ducking as he goes in an elaborate form of Hypopleptic Hong Breakdancing, a skill learned from Death Avocado. As the group turns round to watch him, he gets ever faster until eventually he is simply sprinting at top speed round and round; it is all people can do to keep up with him. Suddenly he brakes to a standstill and pulls out a small box. At the click of a switch, it begins to emit rapidly flashing light at frequencies perfectly calculated to confuse the di-bisbotic ganglio-sub lobes of their brains. At the same time, the cheesy tones of Chumbawumba played backwards and 8Hz too high wail out from the speakers. The group begins to sway from the combined effects of dizziness, the flashing lights and the advanced form of aural torture...

*sea falls to her knees and covers her ears, howling in pain*

Giguschild's finger hovers over the OFF button on the small machine. Then he slaps his forehead and jams it down on the RATHER MORE button instead.