Journal Entries
Barry's busted his hooter
Posted Jun 4, 2003
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/showbiz/2961622.stm
He might have broken it on the bathroom wall, but he was still in the bedroom at the time 
Discuss this Journal entry [22]
Latest reply: Jun 4, 2003
Dewey
Posted May 26, 2003
So I get home from work on Saturday evening, and Mrs Gosho has cooked a nice dinner which we eat while chatting and watching some tv. Afterwards, she says to me 'Do you fancy some ice cream?'. '
' I reply, and she says 'Ok, I'll go to Amy's (the local ice cream parlour) if you'll do the washing up'. '
'
She comes back about 15 minutes later with a serving for me and one for herself, but as she walks in the door she stops and says that she thinks she can hear Dewey, and he's miaowing that 'I think I've done something stoopid and I don't know how to get out of it' miaow.
So we head off in the direction the sound is coming from - one of the apartment buildings across from ours, and when we get there we can hear him but we can't see him. Then we find out why. He's on the bloody roof. It's a two storey building and there's no way we can get up there 
There's a tree right next to this building, and he must have climbed up it (which he's very good at), gone out along one of the branches and jumped onto the roof. But it's dark, and it looks like the branch he used is too flimsy for him to jump back on, so he's well and truly buggered.
Now, between this building and the one next to it is a staircase leading up to a landing and the front doors of the second storey apartments in each of them, and above it is a kind of awning which is like the roof - hipped, and with tiles. It's a good three or four feet lower than the rooves of the two adjoining buildings, but we manage to coax him down onto it. It's still too high up for us to be able to get him thoug, and the edge of this awning overhangs the landing by a couple of feet making it impossible to climb onto or for Dewey to jump down off - he'd be jumping something like 12 feet onto a flight of concrete stairs. Not a good idea.
Mrs Gosho comes up with a plan. She's got a tarpaulin in the car. If we could hold it up high enough he might jump onto it, kind of like what firefighters do for people jumping out of a burning building. He's not having any of it.
By this time the people living in the apartments whose front doors this is all going on outside of must be wondering what the hell's going on, but curiously, none of them poked their head out
Then we think of the trestle table Mrs Gosho uses at the farmers market - if we can stand it on the landing I should be able to reach up and grab him. It's a bit dicey because the overhang means that I'm going to be leaning out over the stairs, but it's the only plan we've got. So we set up the table and I get on it and lean one hand on the beam which holds up the awning. With the other I reach up over the edge of it... and success 
Dewey rushes over to it. After a couple of attempts I manage to grab the scruff of his neck and I try to pick him up and bring him down (all whilst leaning out an a crazy angle over a flight of very hard concrete stairs which would do me no end of hurt if I lost my balance).
Of course, he's not having any of this - 'You're gonna what dad? You want to pick me up and swing me out into thin air? Bugger that for a game of soldiers 
' and he digs his claws in. I manage to pull him over the guttering, and at one point I had him by the scruff of the neck whilst he was holding - upside down - onto the wooden beam with all four claws, and Mrs Gosho was ever-so-slightly starting to panic, nay, whimper.
But eventually I manage to get him down. I've lost a little blood by now and got some fine scratches on my arm to show for the escapade, Mrs Gosho's nerves are shot to pieces, and her tub of ice cream has been knocked over 
First thing he does of course is run off with never a 'Thanks dad'.
We pick up all the bits and pieces and take them back to the car. A few minutes later he comes back to the apartment and we let him in. I really could've used some Dettol just about that time, for my wounds.
Panic over. He jumps up onto his favourite spot to sleep, gives us a 'What... did something cool happen and I missed it?' kind of look and dozes off.
Mrs Gosho turns to me and says 'You know, all we had to do was grab the legs of the table and hold it up - it would have been high enough for him to just step off the guttering onto it, then we could have lowered it'. It's funny the way that you don't think of stuff like that at the time
If he wasn't so bloody cute... 
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Latest reply: May 26, 2003
Just when you think Hollywood has scraped the bottom of the barrel...
Posted Apr 11, 2003
They've remade The Italian Job
Come on Hollywood, just leave stuff like that alone will you I've seen the trailer for it http://us.imdb.com/Trailers?0317740 and it looks like it's got all the usual Hollywood s**t in it - guns, girls, and far too many special effects, just like Get Carter. And the traffic jam is in LA 
At least they've had the decency to use new style Mini-Coopers.
What are they gonna lay into next... The Great Escape? Jeez.
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Latest reply: Apr 11, 2003
Just when you yhink Murdoch has scraped the bottom of the barrel...
Posted Apr 11, 2003
Ok, so we had Joe Millionaire - a building site worker is set up by the network in a French chateau and a group of women are told that he's fabulously rich, and each week a number of them are eliminated from the picture.
Currently there's Married by America (I haven't seen this one myself so I'm going off the trailers) - viewers vote to marry off a group of complete strangers to each other and let's see how they get on, for better or worse.
And coming soon - Mr Personality. A "beautiful and single" woman is going to date a number of men, but they're going to be disguised so that she can't see their faces and has to choose one solely because he's anice bloke. Once she's made her choice he'll remove his mask. The tagline for the trailers - "Things could get ugly!" And just tonight we find out that it's going to be hosted by "...who else - Monica Lewinsky!" 
And whilst I'm on the subject of the Dirty Digger, apparently he's just bought a controlling interest in America's largest satellite tv corporation - something he's wanted to do for a long time because it gives him a direct line into the homes of America. Until now he's had to be content with selling his Fox network programming to the cable or satellite suppliers, who then pipe it into our televisions.
I'm not sure if I can remember this exactly right from the radio report I heard this morning, but it means that now he has his own outlet, he can up the price he charges the cable companies for The Simpsons, King of the Hill, Malcolm in the Middle, etc, and if they don't like it, he'll pull them and anyone who still wants to see them will have to subscribe to his satellite service
Discuss this Journal entry [6]
Latest reply: Apr 11, 2003
The best mission statement I've ever seen
Posted Apr 2, 2003
From http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/mission.php3
"Our Mission Statement.
Well I think we should all sit down and have a nice cup of tea, and some biscuits, nice ones mind you. Oh and some cake would be nice as well. Lovely."
Those are my kind of people 
Discuss this Journal entry [26]
Latest reply: Apr 2, 2003
There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho
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