h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I sleep better with some sort of steady noise in the room. A fan or radio on low, something like that.

It must be contagious - the last few months, I've been getting by on about 4 hours sleep a night and that's broken, an hour here and there. I go to bed for about 9 hours and spend most of it reading or scratching or sweating or listening to a snoring husband, buzzing mosquito or the odd bit of traffic.

Apart from feeling like a zombie every day, my eyes have sunk til I look like a 75 yr old! Trying to have an afternoon siesta when I can but again find myself reading until my eyes collapse and I get an hour.

It's got to be the radio waves. I think we should all start wearing the tinfoil helmets

Wait, why didn't make an alien?

Oh.

Oh yes, aliens aren't just generic aliens, they don't all look alike. You have to DIFFERENTIATE. Wouldn't be PC otherwise.

It's political correctness gone

The United Martian Independence Party members would protest this sort of multiplanetism.

UMIP

Quite right too! Martians' rights!!!

Wait a minute... this all sounds a bit secessionist to me.

Splittist!

It's "SPLITTERS!"

And I'll have a bag of wolf nipple chips.

I was thinking of something other than Monty Python when I typed 'splittist' but I can't remember what it was. Perhaps it was a subconscious memory of one of the tricks Ian Saville the Marxist magician performed. Best conjuring act I've ever seen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mizLpTjY-Y