Journal Entries
Organization
Posted Aug 9, 2000
I think everyone should visit http://www.penny-arcade.com at least once before they die. And definitely look at "Son of Too Damn Late." Then they should read Douglas Cooper's Amnesia. Oh right, html doesn't work very well in these crazy text boxes. Rats to cats.
I've realized that all I need in life is organization, not in the Susan Powers self-help sort of way, although one would think that that, by it's category title alone, would help, it's not quite what I need. I need mental organization. I have too much crap in my head, like junk DNA. Well, I have plenty of junk DNA, but that was supposed to be a simile I used back there. Dang Language, it constrains me so!
Anyways, everything in my head is a rut of ideas and half-completed plots, and mostly big idealized ambitions and delusions of pseudo-grandeur. Motivation would probably help alot. I need to finish a few stories, but I feel as though anything I write would be utter crap. hmm...I feel like I'm not ready yet. Anyways, I have a theory that many good authors have the name Douglas. Douglas Adams, Douglas Coupland, and now Douglas Cooper. If I was a Douglas, I'd have a classic in print already. But that's part of my problem, I really have dreams that are way too big...oh the tragedies of growing up. I'd be better off writing melodramas, movie of the week.
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Latest reply: Aug 9, 2000
Check in
Posted Aug 6, 2000
I think everyone should visit [Broken link removed by Moderator]before they die. It's beautiful, really. Anyways, I'm slowly realizing that I'd be a much happier person if I stopped doing stuff other than reading and writing. My writing is my passion, and going out so much probably conflicts with that. I went to two birthday parties today, and I went to the Otakon yesterday at the Baltimore convention center. Otakon rocked, in an almost disturbingly geeky kind of way. It was much like a trekkie convention, where people would dress up as their favourite character, though their choice of costume for this was far less limited, as they had the whole of Japanese Animation to choose their clothing from. Well, less limited in way, as most of the women dressing almost universally wore very short skirts of shorts. It's the calling card of most female Anime characters.
Regardless, it was quite an interesting event, and I actually met someone, a girl of all people. She was very nice, and her name was Shauna, though it could be spelled with a w rather than a u. She was not in a costume, so she wore long pants, I think....It's always nice to talk to strangers, even though she initiated the conversation. I'm far too shy usually. I wonder about socialization sometimes... I seem to do moderately well at it, but I always feel like almsot everything I say is trite. Then again, I bet alot of people think that way. Thankfully, I say little, I listen. I worry that people might think I'm rather apathetic towards them, though, when my best response is either "really?" or "is that so? Hmm..." Maybe it doesn't happen as often as I think it does. I wonder if people just like hearing their own voice. If that's so, then I think that stuttering might limit that affection for one's voice, as in my case. Hm, natural selection; maybe I can't compete. Perhaps I brood on this things far too much. It might not be so essential, any of this worrying, as long as one genuinely cares for whom they associate with, as that should be comfort. Still, one misconstrued glance can shatter that comfort.
I hope all of this is needless worrying. At least that will leave hope. But hope for what? In my myopic youth, I had always wished to be well-liked, in the Willy Loman way, I suppose. Having ADHD made that slightly challenging, but now I am, for the most part, at least respected, and I have a great circle of friends. But, of course, there is still yearning in me. My writing seems to be the only answer to that yearning, my writing and further education.
There's much more to life than that, of course . . . being jaded is quite a bummer.
There's a middle way, just like Buddha said. Somewhere between my brain pursuits, and my social pursuits,there's a middle way. Who knows, maybe it's Mensa.
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Latest reply: Aug 6, 2000
Interlude of a nonexistence
Posted Jul 31, 2000
This is an interlude because I have a rather large journal entry I would like to write but am putting it off and substituting this little rant for it. Alot of things have happened in the past two weeks, harbingers of adulthood in fact -which is much worse than doom, you know-, and I would like to write about them as soon as I find a period of time where I'm not very sleepy and my guitar is not calling me to practice playing it. Then there's my new accordian too. Thank God I've stopped playing video games.
Anyways, I've returned from my trip with Brian(a friend of mine, naturally, I wouldn't spend a week with him if he was my mortal enemy) to Ocean City. I'll have more on that in my big big journal entry.
What I want to rant about here is the unassumingly nefarious trend in, at least American media, to refer to the youth of today as "resources." I'm surprised that the doctors and motherly advice authors that started this trend would use a word so devoid of spirit and vitality, effectively grouping us with wonderful resources such as timber, crude oil, and livestock. Are our parents that utilitarian? A newspaper article written in my local paper, the Capital (http://www.hometownannapolis.com I think is it's website), about a book by some mother or psychologist on how to raise pre-teens properly, tells parents that they should treat their children "as resources, not problems." I can agree with the problem side, but to treat us as resources? Let's look at an example of how human beings treat resources on this planet. Oh, rainforest, that's a resource, right? Chop it down! Ikea needs furniture! Resources are things meant to be used up. Are human beings resources? Perhaps to an employer. Thus we have Human Resources departments, rather than Personnel, which I find to be an oxymoron. But I would like to think human beings are far far more than resources. Making humans to be resources diminishes every aspect of their existence to the barest utility that that person can provide: mere existence as a tool. My brother might call people a "toolbox" as an insult, but I don't think we're tools, dammit (curse added for effect, and as an appropriate and easy end to the sentiment.)
I want to make this clear, I am not a rainforest, I am not crude oil, and I am not a cow, though I like to carry a gateway cow in my pocket from time to time. I am not a resource, nor is any other child, preteen, teen or adult. I'm sure the parents of children do not view their child as a mere tool, but the word choice of these Dr. Ben Spock wannabes leaves much to be desired. The notion of treating people as a resource (a good and drastic example might be how humans are treated in the Matrix, although using that movie as evidence probably harms the credulity of my argument) is absolutely degrading, especially in the raising of children. Would a parent want to raise a child to be a slab of meat, ready to be devoured? Well, I guess alot of on-the-go parents are doing that, with their SUVs and busy schedules, letting kids watch TV all day....but that's another rant. I hope this was mildly coherent. And ignore the entry below, I pressed store journal by mistake whilst typing this. Till next time...
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Latest reply: Jul 31, 2000
Interlude of a nonexistence
Posted Jul 31, 2000
This is an interlude because I have a rather large journal entry I would like to write but am putting it off and substituting this little rant for it. Alot of things have happened in the past two weeks, harbingers of adulthood in fact -which is much worse than doom, you know-, and I would like to write about them as soon as I find a period of time where I'm not very sleepy and my guitar is not calling me to practice playing it. Then there's my new accordian too. Thank God I've stopped playing video games.
Anyways, I've returned from my trip with Brian(a friend of mine, naturally, I wouldn't spend a week with him if he was my mortal enemy) to Ocean City. I'll have more on that in my big big journal entry.
What I want to rant about here is the unassumingly nefarious trend in, at least American media, to refer to the youth of today as "resources." I'm surprised that the doctors and motherly advice authors that started this trend would use a word so devoid of spirit and vitality, effectively grouping us with wonderful resources such as timber, crude oil, and livestock. Are our parents that utilitarian? A newspaper article written in my local paper, the Capital (http://www.hometownannapolis.com I think is it's website), about a book by some mother or psychologist on how to raise pre-teens properly, tells parents that they should treat their children "as resources, not problems." I can agree with the problem side, but to treat us as resources? Let's look at examples of how human beings treat resources on this planet. Oh, rainforest, that's a resource, right? Chop it down!
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Latest reply: Jul 31, 2000
I will hopefully be enjoying myself soon
Posted Jul 23, 2000
In about 2 hours I will be leaving to visit Ocean City Maryland, for about 5 days or so, which is something I have not done since early elementary school. Heck, I haven't even been on a vacation trip over 4 days since way before my family became too stressed to travel. Strangely enough, I'm going with a friend's family. My parents have been gone for the week, they will arrive here tomorrow, while I'm away. Naturally, their absence made room for many interesting stories, which will all be divulged in time, which means, check back in about 6 days 
Till next time!
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Latest reply: Jul 23, 2000
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