Journal Entries

Just a test

Nothing happening here, just move along now please.

Discuss this Journal entry [7]

Latest reply: Dec 3, 2013

Luck just ain't fair

I am always a little amused by the concept of 'fairness'. I can see it being useful in societal terms, everyone playing fair and not trying to take advantage and get more than a fair share and so on. This surely has a role to play in keeping groups working together.

It is the “Life’s not fair” complaint that gets me. Please show me where in your contract it explicitly states that you will be given a fair shake. You haven’t got one have you. Let’s have a look at the religious contract then. Most of the mainstream religions I know of, and I have known a few, ducky, make no reference to any idea that life is fair. Indeed in most cases it is the reverse. They seem to be mostly set up as apologies for this existence.

“Yes I know, life sucks, and sorry about that but it’s basically the way it works out. You ask why bother? Well you bother because it will all work out after you are dead. Yes really, you have my word on that. I know you aren’t going to be in any position to do anything about it if I fail to come up with the goods at that time, but you just have to trust me. After you are dead, everything is going to be lovely, think of the loveliest things you can, like watching Arsenal win the European Champions League 9-0 against Barcelona whilst Kate Beckinsale gently interferes with your body and feeds you scallops. Yes that will be yours. Why trust me? Because you have to. What better deal have you got? See, trust me and you are a winner. Don’t trust me and you’ll be lucky to get Nora Batty slapping you over the head with half a pound of tripe.”

So there you go, nothing about this life being fair. Come to think of it, the next one might not be fair on some people either. I imagine Kate Beckinsale’s paradisiacal fantasies do not include feeding scallops to people like me, and I bet there are a lot of people like me, so she might have her hands full, in a manner of speaking.

So what happens in life is neither fair nor unfair. This is just a concept humans have invented to hide away the truth of reality. Humans think that life “ought” to be OK for everyone, when it obviously is not. How else do you explain away how good people often experience the most awful tragedies in their lives, while truly obnoxious people live apparently charmed, fulfilled and enjoyable ones?

Fair and unfair also gave birth to the bastard child luck. Like fairness, this also doesn’t exist outside the realms of human wishful thinking. Things just happen. There are causal relationships between a vast number of events. We are aware of some of the events, and also some relationships which are obvious. In many circumstances we do have enough information to have a reasonable chance of guessing what will happen next. But we don’t have ALL the information; ever.

Sometimes the information we lack is not significant and so does not affect the outcome. Sometimes it is and it does. That’s when we call it luck. If I know the six winning numbers in the lottery beforehand, then it cannot be described as a lucky win. If I don’t know the numbers but take a guess (the basis of the game I am lead to believe) and correctly guess them, then I am a lucky bastard. Wrong. As I said before, in the first instance I was aware of all the significant events and linkages, in the second I wasn’t. That’s all. Knowledge and the lack of it is all there is.

It can be summed up in a quote from Gary Player (champion golfer in the 60’s & 70’s) who when asked whether he thought that it was true what people said, that he was a “lucky” golfer, replied “I found that the more I practiced, the luckier I got.”

That’s it. There is no fair, no luck. Most of the bad stuff that happens to people is a result of them being ignorant d**kheads. Exceptions are where bad stuff happens because other people are ignorant d**k heads. This doesn’t stop me using words like luck and fair, they are very useful in communicating with other humans. And there is no law that says I have to be consistent either. This is a journal not a scientific article.

Discuss this Journal entry [1]

Latest reply: Aug 28, 2013

So I thought I might write a journal

Ah Christmas...with its traditions, many shared throughout the community, some specific to families or even individuals.

Like mine. Every Christmas I vow to keep a journal starting January 1st. And sometimes I do, starting on New Years day and once continuing all the way through February.

This year I made the traditional vow. And here I am on the 25th of August sitting at the keyboard, ready to start the journal. For me that is a good sign, it has not often been the case that I have been writing after the first week of the year, although I still wonder why I both feel the need to record my life and thoughts and on the other hand cannot find a compelling reason to continue after the first week.

I have plenty to say, even if my life has not the excitement of some published diarists, and I can always make up stories so that I appear even more interesting than I believe I am. Sadly the other half of my brain continually asks the obvious question. “Why bother? Who cares what you do or think? In fact answer honestly; do YOU even care enough about your own life to be interested?”

Yes I do engage in these sorts of conversations with myself, and the problem is that the realist is always stronger than the romantic. To be able to continue a journal I am going to have to do two things. First, overcome my realistic appraisal of my life as a bore and an irrelevance to anyone, and embrace the romantic notion that I am one of life’s great natural philosophers with major truths that will change the world, all written in a style both elegant and full of wry humour that lifts the soul of any fortunate enough to read them.

Now that is going to be some overcoming! My best hope would be the judicious use of recreational drugs.

And the second thing? That is a thing that I will not mention until later so that a certain tension can be introduced to the narrative.

So let's start..... Normally I do the "This is me and this is where I am in my life" bit on the first page. This makes the first entry really huge, 5 or 6 pages which contrasts accusingly with February 12th which normally reads "Uncle Brian's birthday". So I won't. You should be able to work out all the biographical detail from the entries, which will make the journal more balanced, and introduce a sense of excitement and anticipation for the reader.

Discuss this Journal entry [1]

Latest reply: Aug 25, 2013

I don't like Cricket Oh no....I love it

The snow has gone and the temperature has rocketed to a sub tropical 6 degrees.

I am now working very hard listening to Test Match Special from Johannesburg.

England are struggling at the moment and crucially have no Graham Onions to save the match this time. Seems very silly to leave out any garlic related player.

"You'll soon get bored doing nothing", they said when I retired. Wrong, doing nothing is an art that requires a great deal of intelligence and application to develop to its full potential. I believe I am the man to achieve it.

Discuss this Journal entry [5]

Latest reply: Jan 16, 2010

Entry number wan

Here I am in Brittany. I had often expressed a desire to spend some time in Brittany but went off the idea after those horrendous headlines last year. The new tour seems to be getting back on track.

We have three inches of snow at the moment but hopefully the weather will warm up soon and I can remove one or two of the four layers of clothing. This will allow me to pass through the front door and get outside and buy food.

Some folk may turn their nose up at living in a rat infested converted barn in the middle of nowhere, but those rats are a godsend. Grilled with a piquant harissa sauce, they are all that has stood between me and having to eat ready meals and pot noodles.

Oh yes, before I forget......and here's to you Mrs Robinson.

I know its a bad thing to laugh at other's problems, but I'm willing to risk an extra day with the red hot forks to enjoy this one.






Discuss this Journal entry [1]

Latest reply: Jan 11, 2010


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pebblederook-The old guy wearing surfer beads- what does he think he looks like?

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