h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah Christmas...with its traditions, many shared throughout the community, some specific to families or even individuals.

Like mine. Every Christmas I vow to keep a journal starting January 1st. And sometimes I do, starting on New Years day and once continuing all the way through February.

This year I made the traditional vow. And here I am on the 25th of August sitting at the keyboard, ready to start the journal. For me that is a good sign, it has not often been the case that I have been writing after the first week of the year, although I still wonder why I both feel the need to record my life and thoughts and on the other hand cannot find a compelling reason to continue after the first week.

I have plenty to say, even if my life has not the excitement of some published diarists, and I can always make up stories so that I appear even more interesting than I believe I am. Sadly the other half of my brain continually asks the obvious question. “Why bother? Who cares what you do or think? In fact answer honestly; do YOU even care enough about your own life to be interested?”

Yes I do engage in these sorts of conversations with myself, and the problem is that the realist is always stronger than the romantic. To be able to continue a journal I am going to have to do two things. First, overcome my realistic appraisal of my life as a bore and an irrelevance to anyone, and embrace the romantic notion that I am one of life’s great natural philosophers with major truths that will change the world, all written in a style both elegant and full of wry humour that lifts the soul of any fortunate enough to read them.

Now that is going to be some overcoming! My best hope would be the judicious use of recreational drugs.

And the second thing? That is a thing that I will not mention until later so that a certain tension can be introduced to the narrative.

So let's start..... Normally I do the "This is me and this is where I am in my life" bit on the first page. This makes the first entry really huge, 5 or 6 pages which contrasts accusingly with February 12th which normally reads "Uncle Brian's birthday". So I won't. You should be able to work out all the biographical detail from the entries, which will make the journal more balanced, and introduce a sense of excitement and anticipation for the reader.