h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Careful, its hot! I've just spent 15 minutes outside feeding twigs into the belly of the contraption down the tube at the top (yes, that's right, the teapot is sitting on it now) and blowing madly on the fire from the bottom.

Anyway, you see the tap sticking out the front? Well, all's you have to do is pick up a mug, pour a bit of tea in it from the teapot and top it up with hot water. Yes, I daresay it is a weird way to make a cup of tea. Tastes alright to me though. Sling some lemon in, if you fancy it. Sugar is to your right. Or there is jam if you prefer. No, there isn't any milk. Sorry about that. No, really, it's the water. Tastes horrible with milk. You wouldn't like it, trust me.

* Having poured herself some tea, water and added a slice of lemon, Sol streaches full length on the Green Sofa and strarts reading.*

*turns page. Nibbles biscuit*

Hi Solnushka
I was cruising around H2G2 reading bio's and read your how to. It sound like a intresting device. Living overseas I have see a lot of things for heating and cooking. From dung burners in the Middle East to kerosene cooker which some of the better eateries in Singapore still use to keep that "certain flavor".I would Love to see a Samova in action .Does it smoke and do you use a certain fuel or will it burn anything.
I, as you probbly guess I love tea. Out side of water and an rare soda. It is all I drink. I drink it about every way, hot, cold,with lemon, or without. Any way but with milk I just can't stand the taste. I know that put me in a minority and alienate me to the tea sipper of the world. I just can't get use to the taste. and one for me
Watcher,Lurker Pfc.,The Cynic

*pours a fresh tea for herself and Watcher*

Russians drink it with jam out of a little dish sometimes. I think its a substitute for sugar. Want some? Or I've got some chocolate somewhere... Glad to hear you don't take milk. Milk in tea is some kind of British perversion and not to be tolerated...

I like the idea of there being many more ways out there of boiling water than using a mere kettle. It's a ritual thing I suspect. Brits are left with going to the pub with their mates to get the same effect. A friend showed us how to do the chinese tea ceremony ("The chinese tea ceremony is all about the tea. The japanease is all about the ritual") and now me and Boyfriend do that sometimes. Its a bit easier than firing up the samovar, though, god help us, you can get plug in ones of those now.

I think they used to use charcol. My Dad does, and it's quite quick, though he nearly blew the whole thing up using too many firelighters... But we tend to use wood. After a lot of experimentaion last year, I diascovered that twigs are best, cos bigger bits have a tendency to go out. Its a small hot, fast burning fire you want. You also need to do it outside really, as while its cooking it doers smoke, and you need a through draft. There is a special chimbney you use at this point, which I think is mostly to help the flow of air, but once it has bouiled, off comes chimbney, and you can take it inside and its all very respectable and just steams quietly in the corner a bit.

Sound like it fun to use. But not on a daily basis.Sort of like a habachi.Nice for a change,but to much trouble if you need to do other things as well.
I when living in Singapore had both Chinese and Japanese friends.They on some of their holidays would invite me over as most of them knew I was intrested in their customs and rituals. I tend to bebelieve Chinese people are more down to earth and less strict than Japnese. Of course Japan is much smaller and much more crowded than China so certain protocal in daily life is a must.I think this is probbly why the ritual is more important than the actual act of making tea. I was unlucky not to ever wittness a tea ceremony. I did know one of my sister's school teachers said she pratice twelve years before her mother would let her do it on her own without guidance.
Just for me.

*Sol realises the water is now almost hopelessly stoney cold and lugs the contraption outside to perform the boiling the water manouver again*

Now where did I put that chimbney...?

*Sol re-enters, carrying the samovar. She sets it down on the table where it sits and steams respectably*

*pours herself some tea. Cracks open a new packet of buscuits and lies down on the Blue Sofa*

*floating in*

Hi Sol!

Just browsing the guide, it's sort of quiet today...

Samovar? You know, an old man from Estland going back there in is old days gave me his... but the tea pot is missing, so I had to find a new one, but it does look odd, not being the original one...

...tell me, should the tea pot be big or small? And is that device on top of the samovar where you place it? And do I keep it warm somehow?

Hi T. Thanks for dropping by. Tea? Buscuit?

I don't know that samovars come with an original teapot. Most people here just use whatever is to hand. Or rather, whatever fits on top really. There should be a sort of holder which encircles the chimbney?
So I think that the residual heat from the samovar itself, and especially the tube where the fire was keeps it warm. I don't think you can keep the samovar itself warm once you've boiled it, except that cos it's made of metal it doesn't cool down all that quickly.

But mostly the fun is in firing it up rather than any serious attempt to use it for tea. Or in my case, to have a row of them sitting and gleaming in my kitchen

I'd love an afternoon tea, please!

Yes, there is a sort of holder - unfortunately, I think my samovar is a very simple, modern one - it runs on electricity - but it's nice to look at anyway...

*pours T a tea, and waves any airy hand at the battery of sugars, lemon slices, jam dishes and what not littering the table*

Help yourself . Actually afternoon tea, to mix traditions, should really come with cucumber sandwhiches and scones.

*reaches under the table and whips out two plates*

There we go.

Ah, I must confess to having a yearning for those electric ones which are beautifully painted. Is yours like that? And it does save all the hassle of getting them to work, but keeps the opportunity open for Ceremony.

Mmmmmm... delicious...

Painted? Haven't seen anyone of those - sounds beautiful! No, mine is just silver coloured...

Silver is good too...

These cucumber sandwiches are great... *helps herself to another one*

Mind if I have a look around? *interestedly looking at books*

No no, look around, look around. We have every book ever printed, as long as its green or blue.

You can borrow one, if you like.

*absentmindedly, already deeply concentrated on variety of titles*

Oh - yeah, thanks...

...and happy belated birthday!

Thanks! To be honest, I much prefer celebrating on any day other than the birthday. It takes the pressure to enjoy myself off...

Choose any title you want, I'll let you just get on with it. Don't worry about returning it/them, all my books are now fitted with homing devices which activate when you finish the book or after six monthes or so, whichever comes first...

Six months!

It's never taken me... uh - well, almost never (remembering trying to get through some of the 'classics')...anyway, books I find interesting and worth reading I usually read in a couple of days...

I remember once when I had been 'starving' for something to read, and finally found several books on sale by an author I already knew about - wow, I think I read 3 of them during a weekend!