Journal Entries

First edited entry!

i just opened my browser and went to check my hotmail and what did i find? an email from h2g2 telling me my entry has finally been included in the edited guide!smiley - wow woohoo! and it's on thr front page now and there's a picture and everything! not bad for a first solo effort if i do say so myself!smiley - biggrinsmiley - bubblysmiley - somersaultsmiley - cheers

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Latest reply: Feb 9, 2006

It's Arrived!

...my HooToo t-shirt has arrived! it's big and blue and has the h2g2 logo and address on it. I love it!smiley - biggrinsmiley - wowsmiley - somersault

i got a bit of stick from my brother though, because the shirt along with my new binary watch makes me look a bit geeky, but it's worth it!smiley - geeksmiley - biggrin

thank you h2g2! i'll treasure it forever!smiley - grovelsmiley - cheerssmiley - bubbly

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Latest reply: Dec 30, 2005

Guess who...

...I saw today?smiley - smiley

Picture the scene. My house, neighbours house, Aunt and Uncle's house and then Granny's house. My brother and I are walking our Granny round to our house for lunch on Christmas Eve. A large silver car pulls up outside my Uncle's house and a large man with a white beard gets out. My Granny, being curious, asked him who he was and it turns out he's one of my Uncle's friends bringing presents for my young cousins.

Now what do you get if you put that all together?

Christmas Eve, Fat man with white beard, presents...

all that was missing was the sleigh, but i'm sure there's just as much room in the back of a Range Rover for all those other presents.smiley - winkeye

smiley - santa

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Latest reply: Dec 24, 2005

Oh My God!...

yesterday i experienced the most scary and exciting thing i think i've experienced in my life!smiley - yikes

basically the lead role in our musical has left the school for reasons i won't go into now, and with a week to go the director asked me to fill the part.

in case you're interested the musical is West Side Story. my previous part was Action but i've now been moved up to Tony and the first dress reheardal is in precisely a week from today!smiley - run

despite how scared i was initially i'm up for it, although i can't learn any of the songs right now because i've lost my voice and/or have a throat infection smiley - grr so if it doesn't clear up by wednesday i don't know what i'm going to do because there's no one else who can fill the role other than me!

aaaargh! and it's nearly rehearsal time!!!smiley - yikessmiley - run

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Latest reply: Nov 7, 2005

Crash...

i crashed today.

...i'm now in the lower 6th at my school studying for my AS levels. i did my GCSE's last year.

...at the beginning of this term, roughly a week ago, everyone was really excited about seeing everyone else in their new 6th form suits which we wear instead of regulated uniform.

...around thursday last week i started finding i was a lot tireder that i had been at the beginning of term and i missed breakfast a few times, but that wasn't too bad because it let me sleep in a bit...

...on sunday i had a really lazy day and i met up with the girl i got with at the disco and we were talking, which was nice, and i walked her back to her house. it's going ok with her at the moment. not fantastically, but good. this is my first relationship in a while though and i don't want to mess it up...

...on tuesday we had rugby again, which was one of the most boring, monotonous and badly played practice sessions i've ever done. i really want to quit rugby. i've never liked having to throw myself at people and deliberately hurting them for an objective that is gone after an hour and leaves behind nothing but fatigue and bruises. and stud marks. and bleeding ears from the scrums. and raw patches on my face where the skin has been rubbed off. and a painful mark on my hand where someone stepped on me. i spoke to my mum on the phone about it and i told her that the only reason i am still playing it at all this year is because my parents want to be able to watch me compete in something when they come over to visit, and the only reason i carried on with it last year was because the team really needed me because we had over half the team off for various reasons. our 2 best players, the twins, were injured, our other best player got moved up to the 1sts, 6 other people (that's 6 minimum! at one point i think there were 11 off!) were injured too, and i played all the way through in what was, very probably, the worst rugby season this school has ever seen. and she said 'oh but you're so good at it' which is a common mis-conception. i'm tall. i'm probably quite strong. this does not make me a good rugby player. i am a bad rugby player. i can barely catch, i can't spin pass in either direction, i have no motivation, no skill, no real speed advantage and in the match last saturday i was desperate for the whistle to go. i didn't even care that we'd won 22-0. all i wanted to do was leave. i want to do it this weekend because we're playing at a school where i know a lot of people, but after that i would be only too happy to quit. i've always hated it. i want to do swimming instead.

...all those feelings came back on tuesday during the session, and i suppose that one and the one today contrubuted to the crash, which happened about 4 hours ago now. i was in the 6th form common room earlier and although i knew i had things to do i couldn't do them because there were so many. they weren't even very important. things like check the notice board, go to see the woman about the costumes for the musical, go to town to buy a scrum hat...

...anyway, when i got back to the house after the long rehearsal i tried to install the cd for physics which had the questions we had to do for prep. i couldn't do it. the instructions didn't seem to work on my system, so i went over to the school IT room because i'd been told that the program was on the school system. it wasn't. i had to come back to house and try again. i managed it but it took me ages to do and then i couldn't do any of the questions and it's due in tomorrow as is my maths prep which i also had to do, and i have loads of biology to do tomorrow and i've just been set an essay in english and i don't even know when the deadline for it is.

...as i realised all this the good feeling i'd mostly had since the beginning of term, the high if you will, disappeared, and now i've crashed, and i'm in the low. the period of despair and realisation that i get from knowing i'm trapped in playing rugby and doing all my preps and not having enough time for music practice when i'm supposed to know all my scales and arpeggios for jazz by my lesson on friday and that there's a girl i like and i'm probably going to end up screwing it up like i do everytime and now even my phone isn't working because it keeps on turning off when i'm halfway through writing a text and my room smells because i can't wash my kit often enough because i have too many practices and my room's a mess because it just is and i have huge blisters from my new school shoes which i wore for all of one day and now i can't wear them because it hurts too much!! and i'm so much of a perfectionist that i've been through this entry about 4 times now adding thing and making myself even more...whatever the word it. it's not good enough to be anger. more like depression.

...and here you go. that was it. i crashed. i feel a little better now it's all out in the open, just not very much.

Discuss this Journal entry [5]

Latest reply: Sep 14, 2005


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