h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Plans????

Why my plans have plans, that's how well prepared I am for any shenanigans.

Since the class struggle always is superior the struggle for women's rights - just ask any left-wing male chauvinist pig - I might consider joining this side....

...at least as long as the class struggle involves and whips... and I could never beat a woman.

DAN DAN DAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!



HAH!! Surprise attack!!

I am not afraid of the . I have been in training... She may be a , but I am a fully fledged , and combined with my mad kit, I am more than a match for a mere !!

Aaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh! It's an invasion!




No, can't Must fight.


Must...








...fight...

YAY FOR THE MEN!!!

Let's stick it to 'em!

Look, sisters, we've already won- they've run out of arguments and are down to violence and throwing objects. That was fast.

We haven't *resorted* to throwing things...

It was a pre-emptive retaliatory strike...

We hit you back first!

Moonhogg, Moonhogg little man
You shouldn't start without a plan
The mouse she'll magic up some rain
Then you will be all wet again
So be a good boy, settle down
Admit the witches wear the crown
And you will be allowed to play
In sunshine and enjoy the day.
But, if you choose to stand and fight
You're liable to find tonight
That wet and weak you'll stumble home
To find you've been replaced by clone.

Absolutely brilliant, Fizzy!

See, Moonhogg, I told you so.
I gave you the chance to stay where you belong, but no, you chose the wrong side.

Fizzy, Fizzy, wicked witch,
You haven't won, you silly... person,
I'm a wizard, now, you see,
You're simply not a match for me

My cloak will keep me safely dry
When all your rain falls from the sky,
I won't be weary, home's not far,
Especially as I've got my car,

My faithful wife waits there at home,
She won't accept your hopeless clone,
So face it your plan is crap,
You'll soon be caught in my trap!

Moonhog my man, we have a plan,
A plan so shrewd and cunning,
That when we hit the world with it,
Them wimmin will go running.

Roy and Moonhogg they're so bad
They've formed a club for other lads
With nowt but personality
To save them both from thee and me.
But wizards cloaks and wellingtons
Won't help them when they've got the runs
La Brat will have to work more hours
Between the poo and passing showers
So wet and stuck upon the loo
You couldn't scare Sisters Hootoo

What's with these birds?
They haven't heard,
The sound of trouble coming,
They faff with hair,
While unaware,
The men are uniting to give them a right good telling off for invading threads with poetry!

In all this time
I didn't rhyme
Until you mentioned it.
And your s just don't hit.

Poems, Moonhogg may well be doing poems ... I'm doing spells however.

Spells? Pah! You come in here with your eyes of toads and great crested grebes and red snappers and other shenanigans, without so much as a parry your jockstrap or a knitter of terrapins.

Begone with your muesli, Ryvita and chocolatey nonsense!

I can always set someone on fire... one way or another

Three big and eye of
Leg of tears of Hogg
Mixed up in a great big dish
Will give you both some stingy p...roblems ... with the waterworks.