h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Does anybody here have a brother or sister? Do you occasionally have thoughts of maiming or torture, pertaining to said sibling? If so, discuss here...

I always have a thought of torture to my little brothers, ever since the day I was born. But because of some evil mutant gene, both of my brothers, two and three years younger, are atleast two inches taller than me. So they pick on me. But, lo and behold! I have a mad scientist working for me so once I again I can be bigger than my little brothers and squash on them like the bugs they are!

And if they call me little sister one more time...

I always thought duct tape was a good idea to even the odds...

A mad scientist to make you taller? how would that differ from your regular garden-variety scientist?

This mad scientist is crazy (duh) so he's going to make me psychokenetic and give me laser eyes to add to the mix so I'd be invincible to those freaks of nature.

ahh... I see...

*NYC gets the net and the straitjacket ready*

What are you doing? I'm not crazy (yeah, right). Who said that? This is perfectly safe, I think. My mad scientist said it worked on puppy dogs and bunny rabbits.

so we have bionic 8 foot tall dogs and rabbits with laser eyes running around...

and stop frothing in the mouth like that... it's scary...

hmmmmm...Psycho Girl, your brothers aren't THAT bad.

My sister is FAR worse...

Don't worry, they all are on Mad Science Island, you know, next to Bill Gates secret laboratory. Hmm... bionic animals with laser eyes... Bill Gates... by golly I've got a psychotic scheme to submit!
Anyways, they're also psychokenetic... and I gotta go.

I feel your pain.
Or rather, I felt your pain.
I'm not prone to rage or violent outbursts of anger or letting people get the best of me. But, despite my best calming efforts, my little sister knew how to get that perverbial rise out of me. She could push my buttons like no one else could. She actually got those veins at my neck and on my forhead to bulge that you only see on your parents with equal anger.
Man, how I wished I could just leave her somewhere, or puch her out of the car at 65 on I-5 so many times.
But then I joined the military and moved away. And the old saying, 'Distance makes the heart grow fonder' was proven.
In a way I developed my own saying: 'Relatives are great, if you don't live with them.'
As soon as this happened, we got closer. I even treated her to a plane ticket out to Europe to visit me and once she was there I took her (all of 16 years of age) to the pubs and proceded to get her drunk and to just hang out with her.
Now the anger is gone, as long as we aren't near eachother, and desires of killing her are replaced by desires to kill all the boys she constantly talks about.
Now there is a true anger. Hearing your sweet little sister talk about boys. I guess it's abig brother thing, but it sucks.

In short what I'm trying to say is, when feelings of hatred for your siblings rage, simply move away.
By following my advice siblings can be the key to seeing the world!

This was fun.

I live 23 miles away problem with my sister, but there's this slight problem with her being on the NET...