h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*from the uspace several floors above comes crashing a sofa, several angry students and a couple of SuperHeroes all covered in plaster and wood debris together with the remains of several old chinese meals and half drunk cans of beer*

*the dust slowly settles accompanied by lots of groaning and cursing*

*gazing upwards the motley ensemble contemplate the enormous difficulty of getting back to civilised parts of HooToo*

*rolls off sofa, strangely landing on her feet and crouching on the floor, then stands up and coughs at the dust she's shifted around*

*looks around*

*looks at duster*

*throws it over her shoulder*

Sod that

*presses Dial-a-Hero*

*a blinding flash of light and she's...*

Oh pants. Why do Ilook like a large, comically shaped yellow fruit? Don't tell me I'm...

BANANA GIRL!

*coughs, splutters and rises from the debris*

...... I suppose Eleveator Girl would have been too much to hope for

Where are we ?

You're asking a banana where we are. We have to get out of here soon... before I go off!

*realises he's asking a banana for directions*

*goes to a dim corner and hits his head against Hobbes uspace*

*thinks*

*opens cupboard*

*looks inside, just next to door, where there is an old, tarnished brass plaque*

It says U132660... Any help?

It's a uspace several levels below NYC's lair - it seems to have been abandoned for some considerable time.

If it wasn't for the students we could use this as a base for oeprations against STUMPED ..... it's located really close to one of their chief villains after all.

Speak of students are there any signs of life from them ?

*pokes a student*

Don't know- but they do smell of beer. And curry

How a banana can tell what they smell like is beyond me.

*peers*

They look as if they should smell of beer and curry though.

True enough

*opens cupboard*

*finds a rope with grappling hook attached*

Hmm...

*starts to spin hook at speed over her head while looking up hopefully*

*head connects with spinning hook*

CLUNK!

*falls over*

*jon rifles through the numbers*...'s amazing that h2g2 maintains all these abandoned U-spaces...

*One student of the pile on the couch, jolted, peers around for clues as to why he's in the basement three stories below his dorm. She turns and spies a giant, talking banana. She panicks, flailing to get behinds the couch and knocking it over, sending the other five students and the weaponry spilling out onto the floor*

Crap, I KNEW it we should've picked an easier target than Chiquita! Oh, sure, nobody listened to ME when I suggested we start with a smaller, less-liked imperialist American company, but NOOoooo - we'd get bigger headlines with Chiquita! Now we've got a giant banana ready to kill us all in a particularly wholesome and family-friendly manner! *she grabs another student by the collar* I told you!

*The caffienated student with the assault rifle picks himself off the floor and fires a few shots in the air for effect*

Just who ARE you people?!

that should be "why SHE's three stories below HER dorm"

I tried to set up a U167 club a year ago and after going through 100's of uspaces I found three active researchers

*starts to come round*

*Corrupt continues muttering about Chiquita as she falls head-first over the couch*

*comes round to see a giant banana and a supervillain talking about banana's. Decides he's going banana's and swoons again*

Ah... so that's how this superhero works. People just stare at you and fall over. I don't think I like this

*there is suddenly a blinding flash of light, and where the banana was standing is SM, taking the hook off of the rope in order to tie up the students...*

*carefully opens one eye *

*...wanders over to students, and starts to tie up the first one*

*One of the pile comes to, noticing he's being tied up by a spandex-clad woman. He doesn't seem to mind one bit. Meanwhile, the caffienated one (We'll name him Sadiq) has a bit of a revelation*

A superhero! You're a superhero! Crap!

*he runs for the door, and tries it*