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Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 1

Bluebottle

A87882998 Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria
Me again I'm afraid - I'll be subbing this one too, so please subscribe above.

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Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 2

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

smiley - cheers


Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 3

Bluebottle

Can I ask if you would reword and/or split up this sentence, which seems a little long and confusing:
'Diocletian held a conference in Carnuntum in 308 AD, where the division of the empire into 4 provinces took place, forming the Tetrarchy was regulated from the capital Rome.'

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Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 4

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

Would this work:

In a conference held in Carnuntum by Diocletian in 308 AD, the division of the Roman Empire into four provinces took place. The forming of this Tetrarchy was regulated from the capital Rome.


Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 5

Bluebottle

That's definitely better but the next sentences are still confusing. 'Diocletian stepped down from the office of Emperor of Rome, to rule over Britain and northern and southern France. Carnuntum became Diocletian's capital.' Carnuntum isn't in either Britain or France so it seems an odd place to have a capital. Are you sure that Carnuntum was Diocletian's capital?

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Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 6

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

I'll look into it... I think that part came from bob.


Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 7

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

I should not have trusted bob... sorry, should have checked all this.

First of all we should not say 'four provinces', I think, because as I understand they were four parts which were sub-devided into provinces, too. So maybe just 'he division of the Roman Empire into four provinces took place'

Diocletian did not rule over Britain but the eastern parts of the Empire (Turkey, northern Egypt etc). ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diocletian#/media/File:Tetrarchy_map3.jpg )

'In a conference held in Carnuntum by Diocletian in 308 AD, the division of the Roman Empire into four parts took place. Each part of the Empire was reigned by a seperate Emperor. The forming of this Tetrarchy was regulated from the capital Rome. Diocletian stepped down from the office of Emperor of Rome.'


Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 8

Bluebottle

Right - I've changed that bit now.

Would you like to give this a thorough read-through and let me know if you are happy with it, or if there are any changes you would like to make?

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Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 9

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

History section, 3rd paragraph:
'Due to the protection the fort offered the civilian settlements grew rapidly.'
Ahould there be a comma after 'offered'? (in German there would be one)

Archeology 2nd paragraph:
'Findings include the legionary camp, a bath houses, temples to Mithras and numerous graves and water pipes.'
Remove 'a' before bath houses, please.

Other than that it looks good to me. smiley - smiley


Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 10

Bluebottle

Those two changes have been made and so I've sent it on its way.smiley - smiley

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Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 11

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

smiley - cheers Thanks a lot for subbing!

(working on the next Super Mario Entry by the way)


Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 12

Bluebottle

smiley - okI look forward to reading it. smiley - biggrin

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Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 13

h2g2 Guide Editors

Congratulations! Your Entry is on the Front Page today smiley - magic


Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 14

Bluebottle

smiley - applauseWell done!

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Subbing Carnuntum - Roman City in Austria

Post 15

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

Thank you!


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