h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just love the first quote - it often does get worse!

What, I must ask, does the second one really mean?

I didn't know that somebody really reads all that.

It is a "scientific" explaination of how a vase slides down a board.
brrt is the board
sst is the noise the vase makes when it slides down
bmms is when the vase hits the floor

So it's nothing really special. It's one of his earlier things and it's much shorter than his usual monologues.
I once was a great OTTO fan and still can recite some of his things.

I think something might have gone wrong - I can't tell, because of this pre-mod nuisance - I just meant to say, I think that is very funny!

Otto is still one of the best German comedians I think, today he doesn't do much anymore and he only has his old jokes, but in his old films and this things he is great.

I must try to learn more about him...

It will be hard to find anything about him in English.
His full name is Otto Waalkes and he is now 57 years old. He made films, had a TV series and a stage show. His jokes are often word games, but he also makes new texts to songs.

here is a picture of him:
http://www.goettingen.de/kultur/elch/otto.jpg

and here is a picture of his most famous creation: the Ottifant, he exists in various forms
http://www.toms-bastelbude.de/pics/ottifant1.gif

I'll try to find a page in English

Thank you, Tavaron, I am looking at the links you have given. He seems very interesting!

I couldn't find a page in English, I think most of his jokes are too much connected with German.
He also had two jokes about enchanted princes (although they are no frogs)

The first one is something like that:
Susi Sorglos sits at home and dries her hair and her boyfriend works for VW (the cars) in Wolfsburg at the assebmbly line and Susi is very happy about that, because they now have better working conditions. They've got colourful screwdrivers.
And Susi sits at home and dries her hair and suddenly sche hears a voice.
"Hey, Susi!"
"Who's there?"
"It's me"
"Who's me?"
"Me, your hair drier"
"My hair drier can talk?"
"Exactely"
"That's very nice my little hair drier"
*silence*
"Hey, Susi"
"Yes, driy?"
"Could you do something for me?"
"Of course"
"Kiss me, for I am an enchanted prince and if you kiss me I'll turn back into a prince"
and she kisses him and then "meeeeeeeeeeeeee" she holds a razor in her hands.
And what do we learn of all that? The hair drier lied, he was no enchanted prince but just an enchanted razor. But Susi didn't care, she grew facial hair and they shaved happily ever after.

The second is Little red ridinghood going through the wood, and suddenly she hears somebody calling for help. She finds the wolf which is nearly drowning in the river. He tells her that he is an enchanted prince and will turn back if she rescues him. She swims to the wolf, catches his tail and pulls him out of the water. When they are out of the river the wolf turnes into a prince and says "Thank you so much, but you don't have to hold me anymore"

I like them! I shall tell my son when he comes home, he'll like the connection to VW...

Is he anti VW?

Maybe I'll have time translate something else for you later, there is also something about cars, maybe I can find it in the internet, for I borrowed the CD to somebody and never got it back.

No, he is not anti VW, he's just obsessed with cars. It's a pity you never got the CD back..

Yes, it's really sad, I think I should buy it again, although I don't listen to them so often anymore.

I've found a free download of the first few seconds, that helped a bit.

I can only remember a few bits, it was in the style of a news report on radio or TV.

The OMW 2000, a chicken that lays golden eggs say it's manufacturers, a car with the certain something that's what we say. And that's my first impression too, which I get when I look at the characteristic foghorn. Chief engineer Wifried Zech can't deny his past in building steamships.

Saftey it rated very higly: four wheels *short pause* which all reach the ground and the steering wheel constantly within reach.

For the sporty drivers the gear lever is installed behind the driver's seat. That way driving becomes an adventure again.

But they also thought of the driver's comfort, so the windscreen whiper is installed inside the car, because people in Ostfriesland always drive that way *makes a noise with his tounge which includes much spitting*

The car did quite well in the test drive of 30 meters across the factury site, the driver will be able to eat solid food again in 2 weeks.

Unfortunately I can't remember more of it.

That's pretty cool, Tavaron! My son likes it as well, ...

I try to translate as good as I can, now I should do some homework, but maybe I find something else in the evening.

Your English is very good, Tavaron! with the homework.

Thanks!