h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

thanks for that Websailor - I know it was early on but I did find my mum crying over the washing up while I was there and I'm sure it still goes on now she's on her own.

We have a regular Sunday Skype session now that I've installed it on her computers and my brother and his daughters will join in too, which will be fun. In between I'm txting and emailing as much as I can. So I'm glad to hear that's the type of thing she might appreciate.

all round.

I think so. You know lots of people get in touch before and around a funeral and promise to keep in touch, see you more often etc. etc. but after a short while everything gets back to normal, and you don't see people again.

For anyone who doesn't have a full social life, or is struggling to maintain one with their partner gone, it can suddenly become very lonely and ringing up to say Hi to those people becomes difficult as we don't want to be a 'bother'!!

I have seen it happen to many friends and it is so sad. It has happened to me a little but fortunately I am busy and rather solitary anyway so perhaps i don't encourage people to keep in touch!

Take care,

Websailor

well, she's a member of 2 art groups and a choir and she does Tai Chi and goes swimming with a friend once a week so that shouldn't be too bad. Weekends are the worst I think, but hopefully she'll keep up the gardening and now the weather is getting better it should be nice.

She's also a bit of a solitary bird - and she thinks people are too 'huggy' these days.

Mol

Only a few days ago I could mail my little sister - the youngest in our litter of five - that she is now also older than our father (53 years and 50 days).

He died January 6th 1973, four days after my 20th, so it's now 39 years ago - and it still brings tears to my eyes...

But the others here are right: It does get better. The trick is to allow yourself to grieve, in my experience.

Back then I thought it was so hard on him for losing his life that early. On my mother for losing her husband. And on my baby sister (13 years old back then) who of course still lived with our parents and was very close with our dad.

It was only later I learned to deal with my own loss - a learning experience that has taught me a lot and even if my eyes still well up at times I am okay with it now

I think I know what you mean. A lot of what I've been doing recently is thinking more about how sad I am that my mum has to be alone (they were supposed to be going on a cruise on the nile on 5th March etc) and silly things like I tidied away his books from where he sits, and that he was halfway through a book he was really enjoying and how he'd never know how it worked out. Even though that's a silly thing.

Now with a bit of distance from both the event and my mum I'm starting to bbe more sad for me. I suppose that's part of a normal process but blimey, it's so hard. I had no idea.

On the day of my husband's funeral a good friend (also a widow) told me that it is the 'silly' things that undo you and she was right.

Your Mum sounds in a good position to continue with an active life rather than sitting in an armchair moping which some do.

You will all be fine (eventually). Just think how he would want you to be.

Websailor

What everyone else has said....

Dad died in 1995, and I still miss him.

Dear Sho,

I hope that you do not think I am itruding. I have just managed to find my way around on this marvellous website and came across your post.

I remembered when my husband died very suddenly on the 8th Feb, 1986. That makes it nearly thirty two years ago. Yet truly there is never a day when i do not think of him and remember him with love, affection, laughter and sharing what I am doing with him.

It is really strange. We had only been married for eighteen years when he died, and yet here I am, always thanking him still for everything that he gave me in affection, love, consideration, love of the outdoors sport -oh! so many things. . We shared so many wonderful times and interests..,

I am sure that it is wonderfully naturaland cathRTIC to remember someone who made a great influence on your life, and very probably that has up to now been your Dad.

with affectionate good wishes,

AlsoRan83
Saturdat 24th March 2012 14.40 GMT

Hello AR, nice to see you again.

It must have been a terrible shock for you to lose your husband like that - my mum is still having a lot of problems coming to terms with it, today she called us because she was very down and needed someone to talk to. It's times like that that I really regret living so far away, but as she told me when I was over with her, we all know the deal as an Army family.

I baked Orange and Cardamom cake today. Slices of all round and

for and

It gets better. You may still shed tears. But the sharp pain will over time turn into - well - something more bearable. Like joy for even having had the privilege of knowing a person like that so closely

Dear Sho.

Ah! deelicious! I am now going to take my slice and watch the Malaysian Grand Prix/ !! Time all over the world makes it difficult to watch it at the actual time....

Thanks for your reply. Hope you will find comfort in your memories as will your Mum

with affection

AlsoRan83/4
Christiane

Sunday 24th march 2012 89.05 BST

Hi dear

Such words of wisdom and kindness/

Go well

AlsoRan83/84
Christiane Sunday 24th March 2012 0.06 BST

Thank you, Christiane, too kind