h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For Bob's sake, Zeb, will you let US do something in the duel?? Oh my Bob, this is as bad as when BigC took over the Esirpretne forum!!

You didnt see it! It's fantastic! Yeah! Cool! Comic! Lots of bend and sharp bits of metal! Michelle Yeoh! Chow Yun Fat! Eminently worth watching! Ahem. Anyway.

*UH is lying gflat on his back, frisbee protruding from forhead, eyes staring straight ahead.*

Leaps from the boughs of a nearby tree, tricorner hat akimbo, wielding a covered pie dish.

"Meringue, M'Lord?"

YK, what do you mean "let you do something?" I'm not stopping you from fighting in any way... unless you're talking about attacking ME, in which case you'll have to either wait for me to circle the globe and land back in the battlezone, or chase me down in a really fast vehicle.

But how the hell have I "taken over the forum?!" JUST FIGHT, OR SOMETHING!! I'M NOT STOPPING YOU, SO QUIT BITCHING AT ME!!

You're distracting us all. Land somewhere, will you please? Thank you.

[Zeb crash-lands right into YK]

[YK] D'OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [they go over the horizon again]

[Mewtwo] }Bet that hurt.{

*sea yawns and rubs her eyes*

Zeb: You know-*whackwhackwhackwhack*the whole flying*whackwhackwhackwhack*through the air while being*whackwhackwhackwhack*incinerated really hurts*whackwhackwhackwhack*at first, but*whackwhackwhackwhack*it's amazing what you can get*whackwhackwhackwhack*used to... *whackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhackwhack...!!

*nabs the frisbee from UH's head (after the obligatory swoon) and hurls it towards... any STUMPED member who doesn't get out of the way in time*

Poetry Woman

*UH's eyes glaze over*

Seems to me to be stretching the definition of 'duel'.
Looks uncannily like a 'fight'.

So much so that I can't tell who's on my side!!
Hands up all CHOPPERS...

[YK, while being on the same side as CHOPPERS, isn't a member, so he doesn't raise his hand. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that Zeb is shoving him over the horizon. He starts strangling Zeb]

[YK] NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF!

*Jumps onto Zeb's shoulders and starts hammering him on the head*

LET GO!!

They are: Poetry woman, Giguschild, Moi and YK, at the moment

And Inkwash, I think. Er, Zeb and I are over the horizon, you know.

Zeb(as he is strangled and while slapping YK): Hey *gaack*smacksamck* I think this stu-*gaack*smacksamck*-pid thing it starting *gaack*smacksamck* to finally *gaack*smacksamck* burn *gaack* out... *smacksmack*...!



Zeb:..(burn out) conveniently... over... the... ocean...









!!*gack*smacksamck*!!

Poetry Woman blinks at the glazed over Uncle Heavy, sets her Poetry Beam to the hitherto unheard of 'Soothing sonnets' (hey, a girl's got to have /some/ secrets!) and sends a gentle ray of blue light to envelop him

There's also some very soothing poetry to help UH, but I won't repeat it because, as you've probably guessed, I'm in the running for 'World's Worst Poet'; in other words: I just can't WRITE good poetry!

"Psst, Uncle Heavy! We're still fighting! And if we don't hurry up, we'll miss out on our lunch break!"

Poetry Woman

[YK puts on what appears to be a nose ring connected by a tube to a mouthpiece. The mouthpiece goes into his mouth. This a device used by Atlanteans* in an episode of Futurama.]

[YK] I'm not deaded yeat! Even though it's /my/ deadened weight that's dragging us down! Oh bugger!

[They sink below the camera's view]

[*Of the lost city of Atlanta. Yes, Atlanta, Georgia. Don't ask how it got to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.]

:...Oxygen ...low ...getting lightheaded... GOOD; ...Light head should float me to the top...



:...Here I sit ...the oxygen pauper ...bereft of all my wordly posessions, and my oxygen ...But HE has oxygen ...Oh yes, the fat oxygen oligarch ...An aristocrat sinking to the bottom with the lowly oxygen-impoverished little me ...Not a care in the world ...grown fat and lazy upon the wealth of oxygen he has, hidden away in his lungs, in his Oxy-Manor...



: I TELL YOU THERE WILL BE A REDISTRIBUTION OF THE WEALTH!! THE WORKERS SHALL SIEZE THE LUNGS OF THE RICH, FOR THE PRECIOUS OXYGEN CONTAINED WITHIN!!

*sea sees a flying thigamajigger flying at her and catches it in midair*

[sea] hey, cool... a frisbee...

*sea notices it is red-tinged at one side*

[sea] eeeew.....