h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Due to a lack of guidance, from the other Assassins perhaps, or a lack of other better, badder things to do,- Thorn sets out and makes his own room to carry out a self-study, in heightening his abilities to short-range teleport.
There are several strange, pale-looking glowing dull tiles placed here and there. Those are meant to facilitate teleportation, to make it easier, so that there can be other things to worry about. There are also a few built in traps, that have to be wound before running through the miniature indoor course.
It is not recommended for those who cannot teleport to attempt this.
Running a guantlet of small battering rams, etc. Might wind up in a few lumps in the head, at best...

*Random Teleportation noises*


Hi Thorn!

"Oh, hello VA."


'.'; -"I'm doing papers. Even ninjas can have too much homework to do sometimes. Hmm."

*Shrugs*

Papers... *Shudder*
Well I just joined this group, made my own room.
I saw this and it looked lonely.

"Ah, you can use these if you like. Just... be careful. They are easier to nvigate if you know how to telepor..."
}Poof!{
The papers he was holding and writing flutter off the table and onto the floor. The pen drops onto the table.

}!fooP{
"Yes,- these" he says indicating one nearby with his hands. I'll turn off some of the deadly traps. It's almost like a pinball or a billiards but you sort of skip-jump from one point to another instead of traveling in a simple path. Takes awhile to get used to the angled tiles."

Eee...

oohhh good thinking, I'd probably set-did you say SOME of the deadly traps?

No, I do not believe I did. Controls for those are off at someplace else. Those might be the controls for the simply annoying ones...er, that are immediately nearby.

*I step on the wrong color tile space, and a robot-arm shoots a can of silly string at my head*

Oops.

*Wipes it off of himself.*

"There are smashers, and flame-shooty thingys, those are simply the standard ones. The enormous pair of ball bearings that go around in a circle around one of the tiles at that other part is something else."

Hmm...

*Strokes his chin a bit*

"I can teach you a little. If you are able to teleport, it lets you do a few things. Takes some practice though. In order to get the hang of,"
}Poof!{

"...it."

*Then is standing a short distance behind VA*

}!fooP{
"If you would like."
*Is standing in front of her again*

Hmmm... letssee If I can telaport.
*Consentrates really hard*
*Eyes close tight*
*Temples throb*

*A small plag pops out of here ear bearing the legend: You appear to be trying to teleport, please consult the online help file for assistance*


GArrr! THe Paperclip is in my head!

*Thorn slaps his forehead, and then peels the fingers of his hand off of it*

"Er, this may take some practice yet. That is why the tiles are there; they are meant to help."

, hmm...

Ah... right.. tiles...

*Steps onto one*

Zwinnnnnnnnnnnnnng!

*Appears on the ceiling*

Yahehhhh!

Ah... um.. have you seen my left eye?

*points a bit casually*

"...that would be over there. to the side of your left one. In your head. Er,- you get what I mean."

*Sets aside his books for the moment*

"Here, we'll start out real simple."

*Helps get you down from there*

"You just kinda wanna sit there in one spot... yeah, cross-legged, if you think that'll help, why not- go ahead."



"Now, if you can picture moving yourself a bit, about half a meter to the left, or towards one side of where you are at. Spatially you have to have a grasp of where you are in a room, of where things are in it. That helps out alot in the beginning. Oh, and probably also one of these. Or a set."

*holds a set of bracelets, or are they arm bands? One has a little blue teardrop shaped jewel on it, the point/tip to the drop pointing towards its wearer. The other has what looks like a blank metal disk affixed to the similar corresponding spot where there would be one on it to match.*

There are some small red things along the edges. The rest is rather plain.

*Hands them to you.*

Ah thanks.
*Sits cross-legged*
*Concentrates*
.
.
.
.
.
*Keels over backward.*
Ow... I need better balance.

oK I'll try again....
*Imagine herself a foot to the left*

*General shimmering and (Star Trek like?) de-materialisation happens*
*Materialises*

Whooooooooo!!!
I did it!

*knocks on the door*

Security,
we've been asked to scout for intruders,
have you seen any?

Um, no... not in particular... if you discount those 3 little s hovering around people's heads,- which just showed up for some reason (no clue as to the reason, but sure), why? That's alright. Sorry to have bothered ya."

*Gets back to trying to teach VA how to teleport, like how he can*

Good, this is very good. A good sign.

You have reached an important step, and can look back a bit on it later, if you so do wish to. For an increased fee of... ___ only kidding, you can get the complete set of instructional videos, but wait, there is more... oh yeah huh, I already said that I was kidding on the sale's gimmick. Oops.


Well, that's kinda enough lesson for today I guess. Unless you have any questions, I'm just going to mail a few letters, and send this paper to a place where I have to have it go off to. That was an important piece of progress. Not everyone can do what you just did.

"If you'll look at it kind of closer for a moment, you might notice that which wrist the little blue gem is on now, on the arm-band, has switched, yes?"

Ohh... yes.
What does that mean?

"It means that you have or just had teleported" Thorn says, trying to have it come across rather simply & neatly.

Horah!