h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*I enter the S.S. Redbeard with some cat treats.*

*Jean Luc and Falstall hide under the bed. I offer them several treats. They abstain.*

*I leave a cat treat under the bed and retreat. Falstaff eats it. We repeat the dance.*

*I make a trail of treats from the bed to the open floor. Falstaff follows the train and then...*

Gotcha!

* I retreat speedily with Falstaff clutched under my arm.*

* I return 45 minutes later with a dazed and confused Falstaff.*

*I slip his unmoving form back beneath Redbeard's bed, hoping the night's activities won't be noticed too soon.*

*I try to feed Falstaff a few more cat treats, but he doesn't seem interested. He does, however, appear to be picking up speed again.

*I make a mad dash for the door.*

*looks around for the cats*
Good morning, Jean-Luc! Where's your brother? Falstaff!
*looks under the bed*
Ah, there you are! What's the matter?
*notices cat vomit on his shirt that he left on the floor*
Oh, not again!
*gets paper towels to clean it up*
Did you try to drink coffee again? You know it makes you sick!
*notices cat treat on the floor*
What's this? I never give you cat treats, just dry cat food.

*pauses, looks around*
This is odd.
*calls CLI and leaves a message for Affy and GL*

After making sure nobody is about to attack me, I leave a greeting card with silly flowers on it at Redbeard's door. The inside of the card is blank, except for a two lines of fancy scroll writing.

http://www.h2g2.com/A410761
Share and enjoy.

*Knocks on the door*

Redbeard? Redbeard! I finally got your message. Darn little red light on the answering machine was burnt out. Anyway, what can I do for you?

Boy, I'll remember never to call you if I'm sick!

Things are under control now GL, but thanks for the prompt response! Falstaff is getting over his fright, slowly but surely.

Titania stopped by and played with him, and I think I've got a handle on what went on.
*hands him some cat treats*

Doesn't look like we need to do anything with these now, but why don't take them and hang on to them in case something comes up later, OK?

*takes treats, although not hungry*

Okay, I'll put them in the fridge over at the lab. Sorry for taking so long. I've fixed the little red light, so I should be quicker next time