h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...through the room, sprinkling everything I see with turkey stuffing*

Hi! Just pretend like everything's normal...

*sighs deeply*

*leaves*

...

*comes back in a different shirt*

*tosses the old one onto the festering-custard-stained pile in the corner*

Nice to see you, Amanda.

If I wasn't aware of Floor42, that custard comment would have been one of the most surreal I've read in a long time.

Anyway, Amanda left me several (I think) copies of "It's Wonderful Life". I wonder what she's up to, any ideas?

Ideas...ideas...ermmmmmm...yes! You could make an It's a Wonderful Life-a-mid in your living room by stacking them all up in a pointy sort of way! Then if you're feeling really creative, you can decorate it like a Christmas tree, and you won't have to shell out the standard $850 for a real live evergreen!

Well, it's a thought...

I'd probably be able to get a job designing displays in Blockbuster if I manage to pull it off. Not sure that she's left quite enough to make a particularly impressive structure though.

Anyway, I've got to go and eat some turkey. Hope you're having a good Thanksgiving.

On the trail of an eat-and-run Thanksgiving dinner. Don't mind me!

Nice Tree-like, um, thing.

*runs in, accidently tripping over tree-like-Life-a-mid and flinging the banana cream pie I was carting around into the air*

Oooh, was that Jimmy Stewart?

*runs back out*

No it's me

*runs in*

*sees banana cream pie still spinning in the air - falling towards him like a... um... a banana cream pie missile-like object*

*in a mad fit of strength - and in self-defence, your hono(u)r, I swear - grabs the first thing he sees to use as it shield*

*notices - too late, your hono(u)r, too late OH THE HUMANITY! - that his chosen shield is Jonny*

*stands frozen, unable to respond as banana cream pie splats Jonny square on (no - make that round) round on in the face*

*bursts out into fits of unseemly laughter*

Like this: Ah-hahahahahaha!
Though less seemly.

Which typically sounds more like "aHa, aHa", etc. etc. et al.

Or so I've heard.

I'll try that next time then.

aHa, aHa, etc. etc. et al.

Poor al.

Or lucky al, perhaps

Ooops. Tawdry innuendo. Gotta stop doing that. *nudge nudge, blind bat, etc.*

...say no more

"No more".

aHa aHa aHa

I can say no more.

*dances around the room*

*comes in dressed as a Terry Gilliam animation*

ah, do you want to pet my feet, der flip flip

*explodes*

*nibbles custard quietly from carpet strands*

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Carpet strands.

And almond flavour carpet strands at that.

Noooooooo! Jonny!! Step AWAY from the carpet!!

*slow motion dash to intercept Jonny from a certain horrible re-demise*