Infiltration of a Terrifying New Race of Humanoids........
Dear All,
it is my duty as a citizen of the universe to warn you all of a new race of peoples, currently infiltrating the charming bluey green planet of earth (particularly the charming city of 'Lee - eeds' by the way). This genetically twisted rabble of humanoids are led by a creature so vile and terrifying it makes the Vogons as intimidating as a cup of tea.
Who is this leader?......
He goes by the earth name of....MARK NUTTER.
Which if you jumble up all the letters and re-arrange them, and then add one or two other letters, and take one or two away, becomes..........................WIZ NYIP BLIP NIP ZNIP DIP
And you if you say this backwards it becomes........."Ruler of all things which sting a bit and smell a bit funny."
DO NOT APPROACH THIS EVIL MONSTER.
I have worked undercover for the past 6 earth months and discovered that this race of people aim to conquer the earth planet using a variety of dispicable mind altering methods which have been taught by their tyrannical leader. These methods include...
1. pinning earthlings to the floor and pulling at those bits of dead skin around their finger nails (ouch!)
2. crouching behind doors and holding them in such a way as to make people stubb their big toes (ooya!)
and...
3. making themselves invisible (oh, yes I forgot to mention - they can make themselves invisible) and filling entire rooms with measma's so unpleasant it's worse than cattles' business. (poo!)
So, there you have it, this alien race (also known as TWOTTS - Tyrannical Warriers Of Time, Teas and Sandwhiches) is slowly planning to exterminate the human race. Albeit over a period of a few hundred thousand years.
Anyone wishing to join me in the fight against stingy things and smelly stuff can contact me via my contact details.
Oh, and by the way any plasters and air freshners would be quite welcome too....
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The Baked One
Researcher U118736
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