h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't really need a car. I live in London, I don't have small kids that need ferrying around, and I don't believe in driving to work unless you really have to. I only bought the thing when I was up in Leeds and needed it for work - but because an uninsured driver barged across the front of me when my lights were malfunctioning, I ended up paying over £1000 back in January to fix it (which was two-thirds of what it's worth) and decided to keep it as I might as well get my money's worth.

And it's occasionally useful. We've had a couple of good day trips to France out of it, it's made my occasional football-reporting jobs a lot easier, and it's handy to be able to drive back to my parents' house in Staffordshire and generally cart stuff around. But probably more expensive than hiring a car whenever I really needed one.

The thing is, it should have been quite a sound buy. It's an eight year-old Citroen Xantia Estate (I always did want a big car that I could pile my mates and a whole bunch of their gear in) and I bought it off my Dad's mechanic who'd bought it cheap at auction and used it as his works runabout for six month. So we knew it was in good mechanical nick, and all the big jobs that might have needed doing on it had been done.

Except one we couldn't have foreseen. It had been getting harder and harder to start it over the last few months, which I now know is because the glow plugs had gone. So progressively I'd been kicking the **** out of my battery trying to turn over a big diesel lump that hadn't been warmed up.

Apparently it's a pig of a job to replace them - they're buried deep in the engine and you have to take the pump off. So when they told me it'd cost £175 to do it, I took a deep breath but thought I might as well. Then it turned out that one of them had been put in cross-threaded so it ended up costing £350 as it took them three hours to get it out of the engine block.

Which would have been bad enough - but then the day after I picked it up from the garage, I was driving in to work for an early shift at 0430 in the morning (driving because I was going on to report on a match afterwards) and I was doing about 45mph on the Seven Sisters Road when suddenly everything went dark and the windscreen shattered.

Unknown to everyone, the bonnet catch had seized so it wasn't shut properly, and the wind got under it and got hold of it. Which bent the bonnet, smashed the windscreen, and put a dent in the roof. Fortunately at that time of the morning it was very quiet so I didn't hit anyone and no-one hit me when I slammed the brakes on, but it cost another £200 to have that fixed.

I was planning to buy a Vespa in the spring. Suffice to say, my Vespa fund has - like my state of mind of late - taken something of a battering and my current plan is to run the car for another summer and try and sell it before the insurance runs out next October.

Nevertheless, like the other thing, it could all have been so much worse - imagine if I'd run someone over when I couldn't see - so basically I think I'm actually quite lucky. And as my Mum's Uncle Fred used to say - well, it's only money, isn't it?

I sympathise, I really do. I seem unable to own a car for three whole years. I either crash them spectactularly, run them into the ground, or they go up in flames. And during the time that I own them there will be inumberable bumps and knocks and broken windows.

Fortunately, I've had no problems with my present car. But I've only had that for 7 months so far. There's still time to wreck it.


Geggs

Wasn't it the last one that went up in flames, and you got a nice new one off the insurance?

It was indeed. What a fine end to the month of March that was. I think it was the first time that I'd called the fire bridgade too.


Geggs

For some inexplicable reason I read the subject of this as 'Cats - you can keep 'em'. I was nearly done reading about your troubles and wondering when the cats were going to factor into it before I realised my mistake .

It would be nice to think about not having to have a car, but I'd have a hard time giving mine up even if I didn't need it - I've grown too used to the convenience of having one. Granted, I now live more than 40 miles from work and 10+ miles from anywhere else my car is a necessity. Or *a* car would be a necessity - I actually have a truck which I don't need for any practical reason and it isn't the most economical. But I love it - this is my favourite of the dozen or so cars I've owned. Our second car though (because Mr B works 15 miles in the opposite direction) can't go soon enough! I'm hoping to replace it with something nicer late next year, if it lasts that long.

I do actually quite like having a car - I love driving on the open road, rather than in the city, and I love doing long road trips on 'proper' roads rather than motorways. As long as there isn't too much traffic, which is rare in the UK . I love those long straight empty roads with trees along either side that you get in France - although apparently they're chopping them down these days because of the number of deaths caused by cars crashing into them. And one day I'd love to drive across America.

And out of all my friends, I've always been 'the driver'. Apart from October 2002-2003, I've always had a car when most of them didn't - in fact, most of them can't drive. So I've always been the one that helps people move house (particularly when I had a Transit camper) and I usually get roped in if anyone wants to make a special trip anywhere, which is nice.

Plus which, at University I was in charge of the late-night minibus service, which was great. I met my last girlfriend while I was doing that, for one thing. And after I'd finished driving for the night, I sometimes used to hi-jack the minibus and round up whoever I could to go and climb on the lions and play football in Trafalgar Square.

But that period between October 2002-2003 when I didn't have a car was probably the most cash-rich and worry-free that I've been. And I do kind of disapprove of cars on ideological and environmental grounds.

Two things struck me about that first post of yours Six:
1) I know which part of London you live in - where on earth do park it? I once moved someone into one of those streets (which I stopped doing after that btw - nowhere to park and unload). In the middle of the job their new next door neighbour came out of his house in a foul mood and asked how many people live in that house (five) and how many own cars (five). He then ranted about how he can never find anywhere to park his own car within 100 yards of his own house. The houses in that part of London - indeed in all similar parts of London are only one car wide. In other words, the width of the front of the house - and therefore the amount of parking space outside the house - is the length of one car. Which is why you can never find anywhere to park on residential streets in places like Crouch End, the Ladder, Belsize Park, Kilburn, West Hampstead...

2) You were doing 45 on the Seven Sisters Road at 04.30? Shame on you

You can do well above that at half past four in the morning

It's all permits round my way now - that and the fact that I'm on the poorer side of Green Lanes seems to keep the number of cars and number of spaces about equal... even though a few of the houses are converted into bedsits with about eight people per house, usually the people that live in them don't have wheels of their own.

Keeping outsiders from parking in the street tends to solve quite a lot - and I suppose it's lucky that in my bit of the Gardens it seems to work out that no-one's got more than one or two cars.

It helps that I'm the only one in my house with a car, and also that I don't drive to work - which usually means I'm already parked outside our house when people are looking for a space of an evening. So my neighbours are used to seeing a maroon Xantia estate in the space outside my gaff. And if people do park there when I'm out, they usually return to find a maroon Xantia plonked right up their bumper, and they tend find somewhere else a little further up the road next time

I think it's time to trade the citroen in for the vespa now. My dad has had lots of citroens as cabs, and although they do loads more mileage, when they start to go wrong, they just don't stop. And as you've found out - they are expensive to repair.

i've had just about the opposite luck with cars; i've had a scenic for 7 years now that's only demand is a little petrol from time to time... it's true it lives in an underground garage and only does about 6000 km a year, mostly motorway driving at that (in town it's bicycle only for me).

nevertheless, renaults are good cars. i loved my twingo even more than this car and would heartily recommend one to anyone looking for a cheap reliable car.

Oh dear - my dad had lots of Renaults as well, and they aren't cheap when it comes to repairs. The interior heater kept breaking on one Espace, and it cost around £600 to get fixed each time. But my Gran had a renault 5 for years, and she was very happy with it.

My Scenic is super solid as well. Been well happy with it, even if it's mainly the other half that drives it - I like to stick to the bicycle in the city.

If the mecanics didn't spot the busted catch on the hood, are they not at least partly responsible for your second lot of damage?

I sympathise with your lout story on the other thread. It's very frustrating to feel intimidated by a bunch of pond life, knowing that if you retaliate things will only get worse.

Not only are these people more likely to be used to this sort of urban violence, but if things do turn nasty, an assault conviction, while of little concern to them, is a big issue to someone with a job...

sprout

My parents are on their second scenic - they had their first one from new and it needed a new diesel pump after four years and 100,000 miles which would have cost £750... so they traded it in for a nearly new one at auction which was a lease company repossession and had a leather interior and all. They love it!

I'm not entirely sure about where responsibility for the busted catch lies. The garage said that the catch had never been greased and so that goes back to the guys that fixed it up last January, but on the other hand it was overdue for a service when it happened so you could say it was my fault for leaving that too long. The London garage basically said they were sympathetic but wouldn't admit responsibility, and I thought life's too short to push it any further - they gave me a secondhand bonnet from a scrap Xantia and undercharged me a bit for the labour for fitting that, a new windscreen and doing a service.

Thanks for the sympathy over the other thing - from you and everyone else that's posted (I'm guessing most people subscribed to that thread will still be here) - although frankly, the appearance of the troll in the other thread was the last thing I could have done with. Brought back a lot of nasty psychological baggage.

I was sorely tempted to give him a piece of my mind, but that's probably the worst thing to do.

Thing is, I'm still not completely better two weeks on. I'm finding certain things in my long-term memory to be kind of mis-filed, and I'm a lot more clumsy and error-prone that usual. I thought I was fine yesterday, and then in my first hour at work I screwed up a graphic that went out live on air - and that's happened a few times since I came back to work on Boxing Day.

Although I've had a word with the management and they were very understanding about it. They know I wouldn't normally do stuff like that.

I went to the doctor last Friday and he said it should all get better in a couple of weeks, but to go back in a week's time if things are still bad. He prescribed me anti-depressants, although I haven't gone and got the prescription because I don't want to get on them and not be able to get off - I've been properly depressed three times in my life, and I don't really believe in anti-depressants.

I hope things start to get sorted soon. Let us know what happens in a week, and in the meantime, try to move to online, which is a bit more forgiving.

I sympathise for the car problem- worst thing we ever did was get rid of a really reliable Rover Metro and take up the offer of a free Astra estate. Starting? Forget it. Keeping going? If you're very lucky.

I'm fed up of hearing "such and such has gone, can you take a look please?". No, I can't. I've just got home from work, and I don't want to scrable under the bonnet with a head torch, knowing full well I won't have the right tools to hand, or I'll need a part and the garage will have shut ten minutes ago. Its days are numbered.

six, definitely stay away from the pills, but try to get a second opinion about the concussion. did they do an MRI? i think your case merits one. i don't say this to scare you; you're probably scared already and having a real scan done might reassure you. hang in there.

I had an 83?? Renault Encore, the smoothest running car I ever had, got over 40 miles to a gallon, purred like a kitten but if I tried to roll down a window the knob would fall off, if i tried to push up the visor it would just bend, radiator.....junk, shift.....junk, I replaced evrything in that car except the engine.

Would that have been the 1397cc unit, aceon? I grew up in and around various examples of the Renault 5 and Renault 12... and my second car was a purple Renault 15 coupe. Lovely motor. There were three different sizes of that Renault engine - 1108cc, 1289cc and 1397cc. I always thought the 1289 was the best balanced. We had a Renault 12TS with one of those and a Weber twin-choke carburettor, which I loved, and I had the same set-up on my 15TL. I wonder where that car is now...

My Citroen's been playing up again. Going around the roundabout at the Elephant & Castle on Sunday, the gearstick suddenly went all floppy and when I tried to pull away I stalled it, and discovered the reason was that I could only get 3rd or 4th gear. Fortunately I wasn't far from where my friends live off the Walworth Road so I managed to limp there in 3rd gear - a nice bit of clutch work even if I do say so myself

The man from Green Flag said it's not the gearbox or the clutch, it's the linkage rod that engages to pull the gearstick across to the left-hand side of the gearbox. It had snapped with age - seemingly it's quite common on Xantias, and not that unexpected really at 140,000 miles. But of course it'll need fixing and paying for

And we'd planned to go for a day trip to Brighton yesterday. Ended up staying in and playing Cluedo instead, which I hadn't done for years - had to re-learn the rules and everything. I was Colonel Mustard, of course.

That happened to one of my cars several years ago, only I got stuck in first gear (that was a *slow* drive to the garage!). It was a 1985 Buick Sommerset, and when they diagnosed the problem and sent for the part they discovered that a manual transmission on that model was a very rare option. Not only had it not been made in my state, it wasn't even manufactured in my part of the country, so they had to send away for the parts to fix it. It took a few weeks, if I recall, and wasn't cheap. In the meantime they bored holes through the broken parts and manually wired them together.

Mercifully, I think I was spared on this occasion - the breakdown guy shone his torch through the engine to show me the part in question, so it's get-at-able... and I think he was right that it was a common thing on Citroens because I rang up my garage (who are Citroen specialists) to explain why my car had been left outside their place *again* and they said yeah, we've got a few of those parts in stock.