h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Cthulhu goes through the door, entering into a room startlingly unlike the other - there seems to be no particular flow at all. This room has a sloped console and is finished in burnished silver. He stops short, and Alien cannons into his back, throwing the two of them towards the console*

Umm... Whoops?

*dusts himself down*
I seem to be doing that a lot recently. Hey look - maybe it is a spaceship after all. I wonder where the crew are.....

*and suddenly they are surrounded by creatures which no doubt are the missing crew*

Oh great... Why did you have to say that??

Well, it was the natural thing to.....oh, you mean 'cause now we're surrounded by them......hey, I've just had a relotastic idea....
*shuts eyes*
*opens eyes*
Damn, didn't work. Be back in a jiffy!
*He squirts out through a gap in the mysteriously reassembled "crew", leaving Alien looking horrified and angry. Disappointed that she has so little faith in him, he almost decides to leave her. Instead, he clambers up into the truck, starts it up and jacknifes it right next to the building. The piano flies off the back, smashes through a wall which (by an incredible stretch of logic) happens to be the very room in which Alien is currently trapped, and lands perfectly in the middle of the crowd. Cthulhu comes flying in immediately afterwards, landing jauntily on the piano stool.*
Good thing it was only a crew of three, hey?
*The crew assembles around the intergalactic-spaceship shaped Grand Piano*
Go on, play something for them.

If this piano is still in tune I'll be really surprised... Oh well...

*plays several Star Wars-tunes starting from Imperial March*

*uses relotastics to ensure it was/is*
Beautiful! I'm not sure about the choice of music, but they seem to like it!
*points to crew members, who are bopping along merrily*

I just thought I'd play something spacey... Now what?? They seem to be happy as long as I play but... I can't play forever...

Any excuse... Well, since the piano -is- spaceship shaped, maybe we can convince them to get inside?

Inside? My poor piano...

Yes, I guess it -would- muffle the sound somewhat....*thinks briefly*....I know!....*thinks briefly, again. Another piano, rather less elaborate, appears thanks to the wonders of relotastics. The crew sit down and all start banging merrily away, by pure coincidence producing something very like the Claire de Lune. Alien, sweat dripping from her brow, stops playing*
There, see- how easy was that? What do you think we should do now?

Umm... Take the piano and go away?? Although we didn't explore the whole building yet...

Well what's more important? Your carreer as an internationally renowned pianist (for which I get a 74.2% cut) or the possibility of finding something really odd in here?

Both are... But I think we still need to discuss that cut...

*cough*
Look over there!
*heads for the hole in the wall left by the piano*

Yeah, right... Always trying to avoid the subject...

I wouldn't be a very successful manager if I didn't, now would I?

Well... It depends... You could be...

Always trying to avoid the subject, eh? Well in that case...Oh my god! Look Out!
*Alien ducks to the floor*
Just Kidding
*She springs back up again, shovel mysteriously in hand*
Hey, whoa, calm down, you're upsetting the crew!

*puts the shovel away*

Just wait until we get out of here...