h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*rushes in from floor42*

Well she's not no doubt she'll be along shortly.

You slippery little... um... whatever! You beat me to it!

Ok. I went and did the little stick thingy on Friday night. It turned clear. So, that was good. Then I woke up Saturday morning with proof. So, I'm happy, Chuk's happy, and we don't have to completely re-arrainge our lives just yet. But we had a really good long talk pretty much all day Saturday, and kids are a priority. In about two to three years or so.

But, anyway... YAY!!! I'm FREEEEEEEEE!!!!

It's a good thing. Not that babies aren't good things, but babies when you want them are the best things.

*puts away his 'uncle bubster' t-shirt for another day*

Awwww.... Unca' Bubster, tell me a story...

Hey...don't put it away too far. At some point you're going to be a big ol' uncle bubster for me!

*be's uncertain how the 'big' and 'ol' bits crept in there, but carefully stashes the t-shirt in a safe place*

You have to be a big ol' uncle if I'm gonna have FOUR kids! How will you survive if you're little and there isn't enough of you to go around?

And with the three I'm planning, that brings the grand total up to... um... (carry the 1, subtract base 13...) 7! So that had better be a really resiliant t-shirt.

Mmmmm spitup.

I'm already 6 uncles with one on the way - I think I can handle another dozen or so.

Even if mine are really climby and screamy?

Climby screamy kidlets are always a pleasure... to hand back to their folks.
Y. YTA.

That's what my mom says when I ask her if she's ready to be a grandma. She just smiles and says she'd be happy to watch my kids... so then she can hand them back to me and wave buh-bye.

And then she giggles. Which is very un-nerving.

We were walking down the boardwalk in Maryland about two years ago..all just walking enjoying the day, when my stepdad sees those bags of cotton candy. He points at them and announces loudly, "I can't WAIT to fill your kids up with that crap all day and then give them back to you. I'm gonna be a GOOD grandpa."

I jumped about 4 feet into the air with shock, I can tell you.

Yeah, Charlie and I have some bad Kid karma comin' our way. Apparently, Charlie's first complete sentence was "I am'nt gonna do dat."

yikes...

Oh yeah. My mom hit me with the curse... "Someday I hope you have kids exactly like you" years ago. It makes me wail aloud to think of it now.

Worst thing I ever did as a kid was to lock my mom out of the car with my very baby sister in there with me. She popped out to grab a newpaper and locked the door, saying to me first, "Beth, don't let anybody in the car, ok? Don't unlock the door for anybody."

Well, she came back and knocked on the window, and I looked at her all sweet and cute and innocent and said, "My mommie told me not to unlock the door for anybody." She finally had to call the fire department in. They couldn't unlock the door for laughing so hard.

I spent my whole life trying to embarass my mother. When my mom was in town, she took me and some friends out for drinks and spent the whole night telling them what a handfull I was. My friends, I think, looked at me with newfound respect. I was a hell-child.