h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Because if Paul insists on posting on the food board for people to come here to possibly read things that can't be seen on the food boards then people will come to see what is said.

Say it here by all means, but to advertise it on the food boards is just enticing more trouble.

Oh, so the joke was different? I see.

Anyway, moving on from all that. Paul, I don't know whether you read it, but yesterday's column from Mitchell was pretty funny! Not one of the best, but it did really make me snort with laughter a couple of times - a pity, as I was on my lunch break at work so probably looked pretty crazy to the customers!

Ah, it's now been posted (I spent a while on the phone before clicking to post my last message so didn't know) - not that different really. Same general idea.

I don't think people are coming over to H2G2 to be offensive - just to say things without people getting unduly angry, maybe. So if you don't like what's being posted, maybe just stick to the food boards and let people get on with their lives. *However* I'm not saying that people don't have a right to respond if they feel they've been insulted personally.
I think most people would admit that some people are too easily offended on the food boards, or too quick to mod things.

Hi TT

I'm really annoyed that your post has been modded.

I only had a cursory glance at it, but my first reaction was, ‘Good, now we can have a proper debate!’

I should apologise first of all for the ‘pathetic’ comment – the word has superficial similarities with ‘pedantic’ and I got carried away with the rhythm of the two words.

IMO you *were* being pedantic in your responses to Rosie – and the ‘banging your head against a brick wall’ was how I often feel when talking to some Christians.

Your comments about jokes about other religions – well I know nothing about Islam or Judaism, but I do know something about Christianity, having attended (much against my will!) a CofE secondary school.

I have observed and heard many Jewish jokes told by Jews – I don’t feel qualified to make them. As I’ve said, I don’t know enough about the subject.

As for jokes about Islam, I’ve not heard very many, but I’ll bet that there are Moslems making jokes about Islam. They just haven’t come across my radar.

Back to Christianity. There’s practically a joke or a contradiction on every page of the Bible and the inconsistencies are manifold.

These deserve to be pointed out – and, if you believe in the bible - you have to defend them.

This is such a rich area for humour that I’m constantly surprised that you and others like you aren’t making the jokes yourselves.

After all, if you believe in an all-knowing and all-seeing god, s/he must have an extremely well-developed sense of humor, well able to laugh at any and all incongruities. So, why not laugh along with god?

Back to the ‘cheeses of Nazareth’ – what about those Christians who saw the face of Jesus in a Cheezy Wotsit? Wasn’t that a great joke?

I can’t remember the rest of your post, TT, as I say, I wish it hadn’t been modded. Whoever did that didn’t do the cause of free speech – or religion – any favours.

You know, we’re both on the same side, you and I. When you think about it, you’re almost as much an atheist as I am. I just believe in one less god than you do!

I’m guessing you don’t believe in Abhijit - Hindu goddess of fortune – Abhijnaraja, Tibetan physician god or Abhimukhi, a Buddhist goddess.

Neither do I. There are hundreds – thousands - of gods that neither of us believes in.

Finally, I’ve been asked many times why I’m not a Christian. To which I reply, which Christian religion? There are hundreds of different sects of Christianity, all thinking that they’ve got the one true religion, the one true god. They can’t all be right. Wouldn’t it make more sense to think that none of them are right?

Yours with respect, Paul

Paul, that's just it. Free speech, free religion and free debate. People get too angry and take things too personally in arguments - we should all be able to disagree and argue and discuss, without insulting or offending. It's what make life interesting.

That's why TT's post shouldn't have been modded and, to be honest, neither should STS's - although perhaps the boards aren't the place for Christian essays. That said, I wouldn't be in the least surprised if an atheist rant was modded, so why not a Christian one. In reality though, none should be - unless they are *genuinely* intended to be insulting or to incite hatred.

I would post a peace dove symbol, but we don't want any religious imagery now, do we? :P

OK; I am being cheeky now, but I am Jewish so here is a funny joke for you guys to lighten up this thread.

No matter what Moshe did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm. Since
a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.

The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the
following suggestion:

'Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have
the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize, and
should bring on an orgasm.'

They go home and follow the Rabbi's advice.

They hire a handsome young man, and he waves a towel over them as they
make love.

It doesn't help, and the wife is still unsatisfied.

Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.

'Okay,' he says to the husband, 'Try it reversed. Have the young man make
love to your wife, and you wave the towel over them.'

Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. They go home, and hire the
same strapping young man.

The young man gets into bed with the wife, and the husband waves the
towel.

The wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, screaming orgasm.

The husband smiles, looks at the young man, and says to him triumphantly:

'You see, you schmuck, THAT'S how you wave a towel!'

I personally love this......

By the way I have only posted it on here as it is not food related!

Have agood evening all!!!!

Hi princess

( I don't usually talk to royalty - but I'll make an exception in this case) 'cos it was such a good joke!

Brilliant

You've just enhanced my - already very good - mood!

Sorry you got it modded!

Cheers, Paul

I see the button pressers have moved over here too - wonder if any will be honest enough to explain why they did so?

Also interesting to see how the people runnig this reactr.

Ohhh Lotte sorry your joke got modded! And even more so that it was modded before I got to read it

Yes, especially as people are saying on the other thread that posters should say what they have to say on the main boards as opposed to on H2, I think people who triangle posts should come out and say why.

Yes, especially as people are saying on the other thread that posters should say what they have to say on the main boards as opposed to on H2, I think people who triangle posts should come out and say why.

Let me get this straight. Most of us were pulled from the food board because we were well off-topic, yes?

So Paul tried to get in touch with a couple of us here on h2g2, yes?

And lo, it therefore came to the attention of those who lamented and smote the unbelievers in the first place. And although the unbelievers had taken themselves apart from the righteous in order to continue their off-topic debate, some still objected to them and followed to cast their modding stones.

And those who remained, they demanded the return of the unbelievers to the original city to continue their patently off-topic debate, but for what purpose, nobody knew. And yea verily, confusion reigned.

Do I have that right?

And while I'm counting the seconds until THIS is pulled, I can also write it in the styles of Terry Pratchett, Tolkein, and Douglas Adams, should any be offended by the faux Old Testament style,

Dee

Dee - brilliant post, well done you

(And I think a bit of Tolkien-style posting would be fun!)

x

Hi PSD,
I hadn't realised how much you would take the " prepare to be enlightened" expression to heart. Never mind eh? I'm sure Mocando will be just as surprised to be called a dissenter. By the way my user name is Denadar with a capital D and an "a" as the penultimate letter.

Hi Stokey Sue,

I found most of the jokes OK and some really funny, apart from the tramp one, and I didn't get on my high horse about it, I actually said to the poster that I didn't find it funny. I wasn't offended , I just found it in extremely bad taste - when it was hidden people asked why, I found that most of the expressions I could use were also very punnish, bad taste for one, sickening, etc. etc. Some of the jokes were golden oldies (can you say that about jokes?)and because of this still funny, I also know a lot of jokes that I find funny but I know others others wouldn't. Humour is a very personal thing and some people are very easily offended. I was brought up to believe that to knowingly offend people was the heightof bad manners.

Scribbler,

Last time I was in hospital and asked, as usual,

Religion?

I said "agnostic".

Asked what that was - I said "I'm not really sure" or words to that effect - "Oh well", said the nurse, "I'll put you down as Christian"

Gosh, didn't know that was asked in hospitals! Why do they ask?

And strange that the nurse didn't know what 'agnostic' meant, but then I don't think I did until I did religious studies in school.

RoRo - what did they tell you "agnostic" meant when you were at school? It does NOT mean "undecided/uncertain"!

Hospitals ask because if they are not doing too well at curing you they have an alternative therapy service to prepare you for their failure.

Denadar - The CofE has always been a "broad church", accepting all shades of belief. It does not demand absolute certainty about God - apparently a large proportion of its priests have considerable doubt!

Scibbler, no, they weren't that blunt but I suppose that's what most people decided it meant. I believe the definition was something like 'believes that it's not possible for us to tell' but there was more to it than that.

Oh dear, so basically 'What afterlife should we gently remind you of when we make a mess of the operation, sir?'

RoRo - 'believes that it's not possible for us to tell' is just about perfect. The way I expand on that is that we can only understand things by reference to other things, so if God is due to XYZ who made XYZ ?

To be fair, the Hospital Chaplain Service does provide support and a human presence to many patients who may lack visitors to talk in that way to. It's just the modern "counselling" in a more traditional wrapper.