Journal Entries
What did the DMV do with my driver's licence?
Posted Jul 6, 2001
It is a plastic card with my picture. It has my birthdate, my adress, my identetity, if you will. Unfortunately it was slated to expire in a week, and was also a California Driver's licence. A few months ago I moved to Massachusetts. I hate most things to do with this state and refused to switch to a Mass licence. I don't drive anyway, but you have to have a valid drivers licence to buy alcohol and cigaretts. So you have to drive to get drunk. Ironic? I think so. Anyway, I am leaving this reched state, driving across country with my boyfriend, and starting a new life in Seattle Washington. To do this I must have a valid driver's licence. With much regret I walked to the local Registry of Motor Vehicles and applied to get a Mass licence, paid an astronimical fee of $68 for a licence I will use only to drive away from here, and had to give up my precious California licence.
This licence meant something to me. I was convinced i would fail the behind the wheel test. I was a sixteen-year-old and so desperate to drive. My family convinced me I would fail, being the supporting loved ones that they are. When I passed on the first try I nearly p****d myself with excitement. I had shown them wrong. I could do what they all said I couldn't do. I was so proud of my licence. The state of California said I could drive. It was the ID that I slapped down on the counter at a 7-11 to buy cigarettes at 12:01 am on my 18th birthday, so excited that I could finally buy the Camel Lights i had already been smoking for years. I carried it with me always, it was my friend. And the RMV made me give it up.
I should have fought it, should have said "wait. now i have no id. Just void it. I love that licence, I just want to keep it." but i stupidly let it go.
Now I wait for my new ID to come in the mail. The boring brown and white coloring marking me as a Masshole, the small plastic rectangle that i paid through the nose for and will hardly use.
I began to wonder, what does the RMV do with those confiscated licences'? My identity is on there. Do they throw them away? The guy at the counter added mine to a stack of identities confiscated. I saw a Virginia and New Jersey, but where do they go?
Are they stolen and sold to minors desperate to buy alcohol. Are identities stolen, credit cards ordered? Where did my precious licence that I earned go? This won't haunt me for forever, but right now I can't get the question out of my mind. What did the RMV do with my licence? And I want more than anything to have it back, wish i hadn't been so naive. But alas I will just have to wonder if my now expired licence is still floating around somewhere, lost, and unloved...
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Latest reply: Jul 6, 2001
sleep deprivation
Posted Jul 15, 2000
everyone needs sleep. my body knows that it needs sleep, but my mind is not so in tuned with my body and for the most part the natural action of sleeping is deprived. I stay up late and surf the internet and chat with random losers who like me, cannot sleep. My eyesight becomes blury but when i lay down to rest, i acomplish nothing. i waste hours of my sleepless nights using Gnutella to download music videos and clips of poor souls suffering in pain for random acts of stupidity. My mind becomes a maze of wandering thoughts with no direction or rational order to it all. I wander through the hallways of my mind wondering why i cannot sleep. I wonder and ponder and wish i wouldn't because perhaps my thinking is depriving me of the much needed sleep i am not recieving. But i cannot make myself stop thinking. That would be impossible. i would forever think about not thinking and in doing so, would be thinking.
I suppose i am not one to recieve sleep. I stay up all night cleaning and surfing the web. I write emails that are in reality incessant ramblings, but they seem to make perfect sense in my head. I stare at the walls and try desperately to sleep.
at last, sometimes, in the wee small hours of the morning i manage to drift into a restless unconsciencness. This last a few minutes, perhaps a few more, and then i am rudely awakened by the alarm that does not care if i have slept or not, because now it is time to wake up and start a day. how do you start a day when the last one just eneded. simple, live the life of an insomniac and hope you don't fall asleep while driving and kill someone.
it is 5:32 am and i haven't gotten a wink of sleep yet. my alarm will go off in one hour and i won't have slept. yet i doubt that my alarm will care. what a sad, cruel world. i will kill my alarm if it goes off, but can I? What would wake me from my few minutes of anxious slumber the next morning. sleep, i need sleep!
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Latest reply: Jul 15, 2000
forgetfulness
Posted Jul 8, 2000
I just learned that my first submission to the guide is now an official guide entry. I was shocked because I have been so busy I had forgotten about the entry and the guide. I am still muddling through the Hitchiker's guide. I am sad I am so busy, but it was a nice surprise to find out that my ramblings are considered good enough for this guide.
On forgetfulness, i just have to say...um...I forgot. but anyway, i hate having a bad memory. i forget names, faces, time, conversations. I wonder if I could cure my forgetfulness. There should be a drink that helps keep me from being absent minded. Perhaps it is not forgetfulness, but a full mind.
Yes, the information is in the abyss of that space between my ears and it has yet to be organized. I have always started projects and never finished them, so the organization of my mind must be on a list that was lost (because my mind is not organized)of things to do. I become sidetracked and then i forget. But i don't forget, no, it dissapears to the place where all the socks go when I do laundry. When I find that place I will remember where I lost my dad's car keys when I was in the third grade, and where my history paper went after my little brother ripped the power cord out of the wall and my (stupid on my part) unsaved paper went goodbye. Not surprisingly my teacher did not believe that my baby brother ate my homework, but didn't he? Well, technically?
But I have become sidetracked and lost my point, it is forgotten. But isn't that my point? So I should work on my memory, and then maybe I will remember things I have forgoten, such as, what was I talking about in this journal Entry?
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Latest reply: Jul 8, 2000
Cranberry Juice
Posted Feb 15, 2000
I am drinking cranberry juice right now. It tastes tangy on my tounge. I haven't brushed my teeth yet because I just crawled out of bed. I ate the leftover ceaser salad in the fridge from the restaraunt last night. I read yesterday's paper that my boyfriend left for me. Now I am drinking cranberry jiuce because there is only a half gone can of corned beef hash and a bottle of cranberry juice left in the fridge. The thought of hash made my stomache do summersaults, so I just had a nice glass of cranberry juice. I am lonely right now, my boyfriend is at work and my friends are all busy. so I am writting a journal entry because of my bordom. how sad is that? I will just drink my cramberry juice and be lonely. Perhaps I will read a book, and drink more cranberry juice. sad huh?
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Latest reply: Feb 15, 2000
Juliet
Researcher U111541
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