h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Amy P]

"You can't fit quicker than..."

There's a certain company that used to use that slogan in a very annoying, but memorable (and therefore I suppose effective) advertising campaign. I don't know when they stopped using that particular slogan, but I suspect it must have been whenever it became evident that perhaps you actually can fit quicker...

My nearest branch of this chain is 10 miles away. It should be noted that almost anything is 10 miles away from where I live and public transport is one bus every 2 hours or 1 train an hour. Last month I booked an online appointment for 2 front tyres. I arrived in plenty of time for the booking only to discover it was "relaunch day" and there had been ads in the local paper inviting people to drop in. My appointment time came and went, they apologised but had not expected to be so busy with drop-ins but would get to me as soon as possible. It took over 3 hours. I also asked if they could fit headlamp bulbs at the same time but they were "too busy" so I had to return the next weekend.

The last week in October is car tax and MOT week. I made an online booking for a full service and MOT on Wednesday 30th.

I dropped the car off at 8.30 in the morning, caught a bus back home, pottered about all day, caught the bus back for 4.30 only to be told that the car had failed. I asked why they hadn't phoned, but they had been "too busy". It had failed on two things. The headlamps were out of alignment - I pointed out that they weren't until they had replaced the bulbs last month. The other thing was also easily sorted, but they would need to do it the next day. However that was impossible for me, I needed the car urgently so I had to drive it away, returning Friday 1st for a booked in retest - and therefore I believe driving the car illegally.

Friday's appointment was 11.30, I arrived at 11. They tried to fit the part, but a clip was missing, so they had to get this from another branch. Due to this delay my slot for the MOT re-test was missed so I had to wait for a gap. I finally left at 4.30pm then into my village this morning to the Post Office for the tax (£30 for the year - ha!)

So 2 days gone from my half term in getting a service and MOT. And the specially ordered but difficult to fit part with the missing clip? A battery. So yes, I suspect I will be able to find somewhere quicker next year.

[WM]

reddit

[Amy P]

Hope you find better service next time you need it!

Historical fiction set in and around London that I've read this year (not including Hilary Mantel) -- _The Chalice_ and _The Crown_ by Nancy Bilyeau. A Catholic novitiate on the loose in the time of Henry VIII. Well-written enough for me to recommend it.

Mantel also wrote _A Place of Greater Safety_ about the big players in the French Revolution, which was made into a movie, "Danton", starring Gerard Derpardieu. It's in French, which I haven't spoken since 1965, so I can't review it.

The last time I saw my mum she was 77. That was last Thursday. The next time I see her, all being well, she will be 78. That's this Thursday. My granny, feisty Nelly, got to 96, lots of her equally feisty sisters got to much the same age and I've always said that if my mum didn't make it to 100, then I would.

We're not a particularly close family. We're not an estranged one either, we're just all fiercely independent people who get on with making our own way in life. I have two younger brothers, but I'm in much better contact with my daughters.

My older brother contacted me just before the August Bank Holiday to suggest we take mum out to lunch before I went back to school. That was probably the first time I'd heard from him for about 6 months, even thought he too lives in the Garden of England, but we just pick up from where we left off. Mum couldn't make the Friday of the weekend because she had already planned an outing with people from her art group. But having looked at her list of things, from Mah Jong group, Bridge club, Art group, Music Appreciation events, coach trips and The University of the Third Age lectures, she decided on Sunday 25th August as a good day for her.

Younger brother couldn't make it, he had a family weekend away investigating the new university town of his 18 year old son, but I collected my brother and we set off over the Estuary to pick up mum. Then the three of us had a nice meal out at a country pub we'd taken her to before. Mum doesn't drink, but she likes this place. It was one of the final weekends with the oppressive heat of the summer. After the meal we tried to sit outside, but what with wasps and smokers, she decided she didn't want to stay so we drove back to her flat. My brother and I stayed for a few hours, chatting to mum, looking at some of her latest sketches and updating her on news. On the drive home we had a laugh about some of the funny things she'd said and discussed what we could do to keep her driving as long as possible, perhaps between the 3 of us getting her a pre-paid card for a monthly tank of petrol so she could still get out and about but not have to worry about the cost. It was a good day.

2 weeks later, on the 12th September the same brother phoned. He said that mum had been to the doctor. I immediately expressed surprise that she even had one, we're not a family that bothers the medical profession. She'd been ill for about a week- tired, breathless, dizzy and unable to walk any distance at all. At first she'd put this down to the heat, and then to being upset about the death of a close friend. Eventually she was persuaded to get to the surgery where they took blood for a test and sent her home.

That evening her doctor phoned to say she was calling an ambulance and mum was to pack a bag. That's when she phoned my brother in a panic, and he called me. All her blood counts were low: red, white and platelets so she needed a bone marrow biopsy and an immediate transfusion.

Friday the 13th we were all there when she was given the diagnosis. An extremely healthy 77 year old had very suddenly developed acute myeloid leukaemia (AML) over the previous 2 weeks. Her kind and patient doctor spent a long time going through everything, answering questions, spelling out words for us to Google and making sure we understood. He told her it was just "bad luck". She hadn't done anything to cause it, nor could she have done anything to prevent it.

In someone her age AML is not treatable. Her life expectancy is very short. Very, very short.

It's been a steep learning curve of understanding numbers for Hb, platelets and neutrophils, and watching a fiercely proud, independent, busy and extremely healthy person re-define herself as a terminally ill person. Or a person with a terminal illness. There's a difference, believe me.

So, the last time I saw my mum she was 77. The next time I see her, all being well, she will be 78.

She won't get to 79.

There is only one adequate response to that and it is 'sh*t'. She sounds, and the family sounds, like the sort of people that just do. And this happens. All you can say is that we are glad she made it happily and positively this far, and that whatever is left is positive too.

Mortality. It sucks.

I am so sorry coelacanth. Life sucks sometimes. I wish there was more I could say. You sound very brave though.

It is all a bit carp isn't it.

Yes, pebblederook, we are a family that just does. Life's been hard, we had a pretty relentlessly grim childhood and it's part of the reason why we are all quite independent and resilient, albeit perhaps no good at relationships. Mum's life only really turned a corner when she moved to the purpose built retirement flat she rents now. That was about 7 years ago, and we thought she'd be there another 20.

Lil, yes it does suck. Her first reaction to the news was to cry out "But I love my life!". And even now 2 months on, she gets caught out when talking about something and then suddenly realising she won't see it happen. She's had to stop going to all the clubs and groups that became so important, as she can't risk the infections.

Lanza, I'm not sure brave is quite the right word, I don't think we feel that. Practical is more what we are trying to be. There are plans to make, people to talk to, numbers to understand and information to pass between us. Mum at first didn't want to engage with her blood counts, but gradually we are getting her to understand the difference. Low Hb = anaemia, low platelets = nosebleeds and neutrophils fight off infection. I've designed a spreadsheet to update each time she has a blood test, my brother sorted a Dropbox for the three of us and my eldest daughter so that we're all in the loop. There's not much we can do, except to understand.

Mum agreed to take part in a drug trial, it's a bit of extra medical intervention, but not too much, and it might help someone in the future. Again, something practical.

From what I understand, 50% of people in her age group don't last the first 3 months. My guess is that these would be people with other pre-existing conditions. It's been 2 months so far. Her risk is from germs and bacteria, the low neutrophils mean she has no resistance and has just spent a week in hospital with a chest infection. There's a very restrictive "clean diet" that she has to stick to, and a cocktail of palliative drugs: antibiotic, antiviral, antifungal, antiseptic, and an antiemetic to counteract the drug side effect of nausea.

It's no age at all. She's much the same age as Brian Blessed, Woody Allan, Judi Dench. All people with so much life ahead.

That really is most MOST unfair. As you say, 77 is no age at all these days. Gah.

Getting in early, mainly because it will be a long day. Back to school.

Back in the days of yore, there used to be three school terms of 12-14 weeks, with a half term break in each. Some schools called them traditional names like Michaelmas, others just called them after seasons. Summer term was the favourite. In secondary schools there were 1st years, 2nd years etc, or in private schools I've known them to be called blocks.

A few years ago the UK system switched to numbering the year groups from infants upwards, so in secondary the 1st years became year 7 and so on. Year 11 was the exam year, 12 and 13 for sixth form.

A few years later the three terms became six and the half terms became an end of term holiday. September to October is term 1. Term 1 is long, 7 weeks or so, and hard work at first after the long summer, then the week before the break everyone is tired.

Term 2 is worse. It's just as long as Term 1, but without warmth and light. The clocks change in the break so it's dark when I get up, dark when I drive in and dark when I drive home. I fight an evolutionary urge to sleep all the time, and come home with work that never gets done because I can't stay focussed. The weather is generally quite grim too and, ask any teacher, behaviour is affected by windy days. I'm not sure anyone has ever worked out why. Then there's general teenage mood swings combined with their lack of productive sleep, these days caused by smartphones, games consoles and TV in bedrooms.

Motivating teenagers is hard in this term, and for the last 10 years or so there has been the focus of January modular exams to keep everyone going. However, Mr Gove has removed them, even for people half way through a modular course, which is a bit unfair. January mocks just won't have that same effect. Its also the term to recruit for next September, with another round of open evenings and marketing. Ofsted are due any day.

I don't feel like I've had a break at all, and term 2 will be tough. The only way to take it is one day at a time.

Huh. Never noticed a correlation between wind and behavior... Then again, it's windy all year here, and I work with special ed kids.

I think the other thing about this half term is coughs, colds and if you are unlucky 'flu and an outbreak of noro

ugh

Sorry to hear about your mum.

I'd noticed the change to years for schools, I still have to count on my fingers to work out what 'proper' year they are talking about, but didn't know they had changed to 6 terms. Very strange - What's the point of renaming everythiing?! I still call it half term, and no one has corrected me yet.

We, in the wonderful world of FE colleges, have moved to a two term system. It's an enrollment thing. Previously, people could enroll in Sept, Jan and April. Or rather 'Sept, Jan OR April.' Now, if they want to enroll in Jan, they have to sign up for two terms. In order to sweeten the pill, tptb have decided to pretend that the Spring and Summer terms are now one.

Yes, I know. It confuses me too.