h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

innit? aint you heard?

did you know !?

IT's crossed over innit!?

IT=
(crossed over!)
(..innit?..)

Gerrof me Matt!


I've been looking for IT everywhere!


I know something, but you might not have heard about it yet!

there's a herd of It's ????

Importance of Walking

1/ Walking 20 minutes can add to your life.This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at £7000 per month.

2/ My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60..
Now he's 97 years old...and we haven't a clue where the hell he is

3/ I like long walks,especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

4/ The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

5/ I have to walk early in the morning,before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

6/ I joined a health club last year,spent about 400 Pounds.
Haven't lost a pound....apparently you have to actually go there.

7/ Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

8/ I do have flabby thighs,but fortunately my stomach covers them.

9/ The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say,'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'

10/ If you are going to try cross-country skiing,start with a small country.

11/ I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,......just getting over the hill was enough.

12/ We all get heavier as we get older,because there's a lot more information in our skulls.That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

13/ Every time I start thinking too much about how I look,I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave,I look just fine.


plus you might even come across IT!

Another triumph, Prof!

Jabs

from a friendTRY IT!

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?

You have to try this! it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this! it is from an orthopaedic surgeon............ This will confuse your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It is pre-programmed in your brain!

1. While sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand Your foot will change direction.

And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

Not content with giving me annoying bloody games for my computers at home, now you're annoying me at work!!! Stoppit!!!

as if I would

I sent a text to The Missus earlier, asking what she's up to.

"Cursing Prof for these bloody games!"

A brief text-chat ensued, then there was about a half hour pause. Eventually I asked "Are you asleep?"

"Yes - just too busy on Jewel Quest..."

, don't blame Prof, i sent it to him!!!!!

zdt

butter wouldn't melthalo needs a little wash though

You should have a word with lil, hers seems to have a non-stick Teflon coating!

what! and get clouted