Welcome to a needle in a haystack!

Because the chances are very small that anyone will actually come and look at this page, I'm not even going to bother with saying hi how are you so nice you could come would you care for some tea. Even though I just did say it, you are now going to ignore the fact that I did because I couldn't tell you that I didn't want to say all that unless I told what it exactly it was that I didn't want to say. Any way, here are some of the finest moments of my exciting career as a mindnumbingly ordinary person:

When I was rather small, I ran around a corner, staright into a wall which jumped out from behind it, and gave myself a bloody nose. However, this was not my fault, because it was obviously the wall's intention to do harm.

http://www.h2g2.com/A226234" >http://www.h2g2.com/A226234 This is one of my friends articles about Nantucket. Last summer, I was riding back to the high school and I stopped, attempted to put my foot down on the ground, and fell over into a thorn bush. I was still taking thorns out of my hands when school started.

At the same evil island known as Nantucket, I was boogie-boarding at Cisco? and caught a wave which tossed me literally out of the water, dropped me, threw me up again, dropped me, and chucked me onto the beach.

At school, I have been known to run full speed into doors (It's not my fault that you need to turn the doorknob before you can open the door!), get my arm stuck in doors, get my head hit by locker doors, etc...

Hopefully this list will impress upon you that I am not at all an accident-prone person, and that therefore you can trust me with just about everything, including fine china and crytal and...ooops.


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Arthur Phillip

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