Woodfish, noun, also plural (esp. collectively)
1. a type of air-breathing fish that likes to explore the woods. 2. a male fish that "wood" do almost anything for the right female of the species. 3. a male fish exhibiting his confirmation of no. 2.
article: The male of the species is usually quite placid, though he can be inflamed during sporting events -especially boxing- when hormones kick-in to induce erratic behavior that is incomprehensible to the female of the species. At these times, the female usually exhibits some manner of distaste for the males' infatuation with any subject other than herself, and becomes inflexible in her desire for attention (often exhibiting deranged behavior concurrent with "freaking out.")
At times, the male can be quite "lovey-dovey," often initiating the acts of intimacy that precede sexual fulfillment (and insisting that his partner be satisfied before he attains his own release.) However, after consummation, it is usually the female who signals her desire for the male. She does this by.....(not suitable for entry.....)
Together they produce offspring known as "pups" (male,) and "kittens" (female). These are happy to play together until they are about five-years old, when they become enemies until they are about 13-years old. At around 18-years old, the cycle reverts to its origins, and the process begins anew.
The male of the species is particularly adept at working with wood, while the female can be adept at anything she chooses (except the paranormal: this tends to put the male at ill ease, and causes him to lose interest in the female.) The male's woodworking skills can venture into the astronomic scale, and yet his artistry can be unrecognised at the local level.
The female fish-form that is most desired by other species is unrecognised by the Woodfish: skinny is out, thick is in. The Woodfish is mostly attracted by females who exhibit an exhuberance for decadence and corporeal pleasure. The female of the species should exhibit an air of freedom and independence, for the male to show attraction to her. Ideally she should display brown, black, or red scales to be noticed by the male, but blonde scales will work at times, if other factors suit the situation. "Sweetness" is an elusive factor in the play, though we can't put our finger in it.
All this said, the uniqueness of the Woodfish is not so extraordinary as it all might seem. It seems the Woodfish is somewhat of a "homebody," as facts tell, and not apt to go out and dalliance, as the female might expect. His demeanor is of a familial nature: once imbued with fatherhood he does not venture far from the "woodpile".
One final factor should be mentioned about the Woodfish: money does not motivate him. He can be happy rich or poor (and poor is often the subsequence of this attitude!) Though he has an ambition to be rich enough to be independent of the corruption of this world, he realises that this is a fantasy that might never come true (and an oxymoron, to boot!). Should wealth of money ever come his way, he has sworn never to forget the people who are truly in need: his brothers and sisters whom he met while "growing up".
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Woodfish
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