Journal Entries
Inspired by "Hitchhiker's Guide" - Homourous Creative Writing or Encyclopedia?
Posted May 1, 2000
At first I didn't notice it, because I haven't been a member of H2G2 that long, but over the past several weeks I have been baffled at the lack of creativity, humour, and eloquence in the Official Guide Entries. I had already read the guidelines for submitting an entry, written one, and submitted it when I began to notice this style trend. I thought, "Well, if that's the best writing people are sending in, my essay is sure to be accepted as an 'approved' entry." Then came the blow: my essay was rejected on the grounds that it was "not completely factual," although the editor said he liked it very much and he didn't have any other criticisms to offer.
AH-HAH! SO that explains the dry, encyclopedia-like quality of the other entries. Although I had read the part in the guidelines that said your entry should be "essentially factual," I interpreted that to mean they did not accept "fiction." My essay was not fictional, every part of it was an actual occurance, and it described something that is a part of our world (leaf-blowers) like a guide entry should. The rejection was not a result of my failure to fulfill the requirements laid out in the guidelines. My essay was rejected because it didn't have the style that the editors were looking for.
The editors have every right to style their website in whatever way they wish. If I had sent in an entry merely telling the reader that leaf-blowers exist, what they are and how they are used - with no embellishments - it probably would have been accepted. Instead, I told of my own encounter with a leafblower (entirely factual) and that just isn't what they want in their Guide. Unfortunately, as a fan of Douglas Adams and a member of H2G2, humourous creativity and a personal take on things is what I want to read.
I don't need H2G2 to tell me that there is this animal called a hedgehog and what it eats. If I need factual info on hedgehogs, I will look it up on a hedgehog informational site, not the Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy site! As it is, I have no reason to check out the latest "approved" entries accept to confirm that I find them incredibly boring and pointless.
A prime example of the lack of interesting tidbits to be found in the "approved" entry section is the article on "Worry," entry #A291737. It reads like the fulfillment of a fifth-grade essay writing assignment.
Come on, people! There are lots of really well-written, entertaining, and factual articles all over H2G2. Why not use those to represent this fine website? H2G2 has the potential of being one of the best writing sites on the web. Leave the encyclopedia business to Encyclopedia Britannica.
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Latest reply: May 1, 2000
It's a bit quiet here
Posted Mar 7, 2000
Another researcher pointed out that he was tired af reading "no replies." He said he thought maybe he wasn't getting any replies because he wasn't participating in other people's discussions. Getting out there and taking part doesn't garantee reponses either. I'm beginning to suspect that the number of people actually participating in the Guide are few and far between. There are plenty of people writing entries, but the interaction seems to be limited to a few popular discussions. I have been reading a lot of entries and the number of times I've seen the words, "43 weeks ago, no replies" is quite phenomenal. In a club with such limited participation, I think maybe you either hang out with the "in" crowd or nobody at all. It would be too bad if H2G2 turned into a mere clique.
Discuss this Journal entry [14]
Latest reply: Mar 7, 2000
Return of the Leaf Blowers
Posted Feb 4, 2000
This morning I was a knight defending my castle. My soiled and ill-used threshold had been cleaned and polished once again after months of neglect. Those were months which began in despair but, slowly, I recovered from the last attack and gathered my strength. The result of my regained good spirits was that I tended my threshhold once again, and made it beautiful, sparkling, and inspiring.
Then the monsters returned. I could hear their roaring from afar, but I have heard this many times when they did not come near my door, thus I failed to put up my guard. Relaxed in my rooms, tending to my daily work, I heard a sound that brought the enemy to the forefront of my attention. I rushed to arm myself and ran to the door just in time. They nearly succeeded in their evil plans, but I flung the door open and made my battle cry, "Stop!" I screamed over their viscious roaring, "Begone from my gate, torture me no further!" I was hit with the full force of the flinging grime that is this monster's weapon. I flung arrows of derision more poisoned than I had ever used before.
In surprise, the monsters and their evil masters retreated a short distance. They were still close enough, however, for me to smell the foul stench of their internal combustion breath. My arrows kept them back as I weilded my broom, vanquishing the grime that nearly spoiled my precious threshhold. I shot one last arrow and told them never to return to my gate, or I would be forced to punish them again.
After I returned to my rooms, I heard their roar very close as if they would test me, but they must have thought better of it, and moved on. I will not rest until these monsters, the Leaf Blowers, are banished forever.
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Latest reply: Feb 4, 2000
Rude Awakening
Posted Dec 17, 1999
I was awakened from a deep sleep (and a very romantic dream) this morning by the sound of chainsaws outside my window. Because of my work schedule, I usually sleep till about 9:30am. Well after cussing for about a minute I looked at my clock and it said 8:30am. Then another chainsaw was added to the roaring choir of machinery. So much for rescuing that last hour of sleep.
What were they sawing? The leaves off the palm tree outside my upstairs window. Ah, the joy of apartment complexes! I decided to get up and be usefull, so I took out the trash, and a shocking sight hit my eyes. There were entire banyan and oak tree branches lying all over the parking lot that we are surrounded by. There were green leaves everywhere on the pavement and the sound of machinery from all corners. The trees have so many stubbs sticking out now that they look like ancient Greek & Roman statues. I realize that sometimes trees have to be trimmed to keep them from growing into the sides of houses, blocking traffic and to allow sunlight to penetrate a little for things like flower beds, but these trees had just gotten to where they provided the smallest bit of shade. Well, this is the "Sunshine State (Florida)." I guess shade is contrary to state law here.
Of course, I have no say in how they do the gardening. I suppose I could try to gather signatures on a petition to just let the trees grow a little (oh, my God, we can't have that!) but knowing the type of people who live here, I would get about 2 signatures out of the entire honeycombed mass that is our neighborhood. The signatures would be those of kids, whose favourite climbing branch just got cut off.
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Latest reply: Dec 17, 1999
Technology List
Posted Nov 13, 1999
In this world where some cultures sleep on the bare sand in the desert and others spend the night curled up next to their screen-saver deploying computer, I have decided on what my favourite pieces of technology are. The ironic thing being that the only reason I need these things is I'm stuck here in this God forsaken civilisation where... well, you know.
CD players -
really anything that plays recorded music. My singing voice is pretty good, but I haven't got the knack for singing harmonies with myself yet.
Computers -
obviously.
Telephone answering machines -
people cannot expect me to answer the phone every time it rings, geez!
air-conditioners -
something I'd rather do without except I'm stuck living in this pit where it's always too hot for normal brain function.
refridgerators -
same as above, and I've found from first hand experience that food poisoning sucks. Or blows as the case may be.
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Latest reply: Nov 13, 1999
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