h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Miss you - A4194597
Author: Cyzaki - Join the (un)official F1 supporters' club A1918244 - U223973

My first attempt at something for the UG, and something I needed to write.

Definitely something the vast majority of us can sympathise and empathise with Cyzaki. I liked the mixture of long and short lines and the imagary because they're images we can all visualise and you didn't go into so much detail as to make it personal enough for nobody else to see. Any sense?

How do you feel now that you've written this down? What did writing it make you feel? Do you think you achieved what you aimed for when you first started it?

Kat

I just know how you feel; what you are going through. The desolation. Especially if you were together for more than a year or two. There was no chance of a reconciliation with the love of my early life. There is still never a single day when I don't recall her youthful face, and yet that girl is long gone; she will now be 63! If God has spared her; which I hope He has!

f.

What happened F ?

Thanks for the comments everyone

I definitely feel better now I've written it, like now it's on the page (so to speak) it's not going round my head so much any more. I think I achieved what I wanted, which was to get down what I was thinking without being too personal and specific. I think, as you say, everyone goes through this at least once!

Well Chips,
Even before she started to go out with me seriously she knew that I had had stomach surgery. We were together for about 3 years. And she had made the 'running', so to speak. (sounds ever so big- headed, doesn't it!).
Unfortunately, and after we had formed even strong inter-family bonds, I began to experience pain etc. and was found to have what the medical profession call 'adhesions', as a result of the earlier operation. Before I could have them 'cut' (removed) she had obviously decided that we weren't a 'good idea', and so she ended it in 1960, just before my 21st birthday. I was, however, expecting it. I could sense her sudden cooling off at the 'medical' news. She said she wanted to remain friends, but I told her that I loved her so much that I wouldn't be able to take seeing her, it would prolong the pain of losing her. We kissed tenderly, and parted, at her little garden wicket-gate.
When my father died, 35 years later, she sent me a sympathy card, to my mother's address, and had actually underlined the words 'heartfelt sympathy' in her usual style of dotted underlining. It, kind of, told me something. She eventually divorced, about 10 years ago, the man she had married only 2 years after we parted. They have 2 children (now, obviously, adults). I have no knowledge of her present 'marital status', nor of her present whereabouts, but I remain interested, in a 'low-key curiosity' kind of way.

Ron

Ron, my dear.

You must have been so dreadfully hurt.
You were just a boy of 20. The worry of impending invasive surgery and the thought of losing your sweetheart must have caused you unbearable pain and anguish.
Ending the relationship with a kiss of such sweetness that the memory remains with you after 25 years....clearly, you loved her very much.

Yes, I can understand you are interested in where she is now and what she's doing. Is it a case of 'what if or if only......' ?

Ron, perhaps it is better to dream of what might have been. You have a wonderful wife and family. You've got over your health problems and had a successful career.

Just think if you were to meet again, she might still walk away and leave you with nothing but a memory

Chips

Hi Chips,

Yes. But make that 45 years, my dear girl!
And yes again... I don't think it would be wise to meet her again. I wouldn't attempt to do so; but it could just occur by a very remote chance. I think I would be struck silent by such an unintended encounter.

About 30 years ago, Pat and I went to the cinema in my old home town to see 'A Man for all Seasons'. We arrived early evening and only a few were up in the balcony where we headed for. I saw D.L. and recognised her immediately from the back view, head and shoulders, sitting in the front row of the balcony with her husband. I identified him easily too. Pat, who had never seen D L and did not know her, was heading straight for the front. I acted instinctively and called to Pat, by name, 'Not there Pat, nearer the back I think!' And, D. L., immediately recognising my voice, and knowing Pat was the name of my wife, spun round to take a look, open mouthed! At that same moment I turned away as if I hadn't seen her; I don't think she realized I had. But, during the interval, she sent her husband to get ice creams, and he was looking all over the auditorium for a face he did not know. D.L. sat alone, looking into her makeup mirror to try to see me in the semi-dark cinema.
When we went to the car park later, they were sitting in their darkened car, and watched us walk past, not knowing that we knew what they were looking at!

Ron

45 years. Of course !! You do like to catch me out. (That's why you're an accountant and I'm not) I agree, after so long, if you and D met, what would you say. What could you say.

I mean, what were *the* buzz words of 1958 to 1960 ? See you later alligator ? psychedelic ? beatnik ? cruise missile ? cyborg ? awesome ?

Obviously Pat knows all about D. It must have been hard for Pat not to look into their darkened car. After all, a woman's curiousity knows no bounds and she must have wondered what your first love looked like. But, on the other hand, ignorance can be bliss.

Reading through again though, I think that D might very well wonder about you. After 15 years she could still remember the sound of your voice. Perhaps you have a distinctive voice, Ron.

To deviate slightly, 'A Man For All Seasons', wonderful film

Yours sincerely

Chips

Guys...I appreciate that what you're talking about is on topic but you haven't really said anything about Cyzaki's piece and it seems a little unfair to just use it as a base to talk between yourselves.

No Chips, I take no delight in 'catching you out' as you say. I think it's just force of (professional) habit; it's the nature of the job I did as an auditor. Nothing is meant by it! Asking many questions is another part of that office.
Pat knows D's face. My mother kept many photographs of us all, including D's parents and her elder sister, C. There is one with me as groomsman at C's wedding on 1st March, 1958. D. in a long full-skirted dress as chief Bridesmaid. They were both most beautiful girls, dark hair, D. has grey-green eyes and was a nice, trim 5 feet 4 inches tall, long slim legs.
Her voice, quiet and soft, was lovely on the ear. When she walked, straight backed, like a debutante, her head would bob from side to side, and she would start smiling at you as soon as you came into view.
An angel.

Ron

Kat,

You're quite right. I had sent the author a private message, as I found her poem most evocative.

I will take your comments on board !

cheers

Chips

My apologies to you Kat, and to Cyzaki.
You are, of course, quite correct in your comments.
I am guilty of posting over-long messages anyway!

Ron

f.

I don't mind really

I'm not sure how this forum is supposed to work anyway - I've lurked here for a while but not really posted, and this is the first time I've ever submitted anything. Do you suggest improvements at all?

Hello again.

I like it just the way it is. Style and format.

It's clear, to the point and I think a lot of people will be able to identify with your feelings.

For me, the last 2 lines were excellent. Evocative.

Chips

I wonder if repeating the line 'I miss you' through the poem would add anything to it. I'm not sure though, it's just a thought. You know, emphasising the point?

Hello Cyzaki,
I cannot see any way you can improve a piece of this nature. It is entirely written from the heart via a beautiful mind. Even the way you have laid out the shape of the work is a piece of art in itself.
I would leave it untouched, just as it was written, it has sprung naturally from your emotions; and that is enough in itself.

Ron

Aaaw, thanks guys

I'll give repeating 'i miss you' through it a go and see what happens.

Nah, it didn't work

I guess I'm just too used to Peer Review! Seeing as you guys like it as it is, it can stay as it is.

It's funny, I didn't cry at all while writing it, but I cried just now reading it back...

Oh are you all right now...

Well done !!