h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is MUCH better, say I.

The internal dialogue is a brilliant idea. Yes, much more believable. You found the development - an argument about the nature of humanity as a planetary disease, fueled by one scientist's personal set of anxiety attacks.

I particularly love the analogy, as yesterday I was re-watching the brilliantly awful 'Plan Nine from Outer Space' - which actually has the same theme. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid.'

I would have one request: remove the word 'schizophrenic'. I know the lay use is the literal 'split brain', but the symptoms are different. A schizophrenic would do this because They told him to.

You have taken what I thought was not too promising an idea, and really gone somewhere with it.

A real vindication of the rewrite process.

I'm sure this could be tweaked here and there, but I'd say you have the essential story now.

I agree with Dmitri. This is very much better, positively powerful.


I think I would take foot and mouth off your list of viruses, as the pigs would certainly show symptoms of that.

Thank you very much

So that's development I've never watched 'Plan Nine from Outer Space' but I've heard of it. The title's warning enough Fancy picking on poor humans just because we're stupid. Nasty aliens! I'll change 'schizophrenic' as you say. There's only one voice in his head and it's his own. I'll have to give it a bit of thought.

The thing about the viruses is that he only used short sections of their DNA. Like the fish gene they put in GM tomatoes to make them frost resistant. In that case, it was just the bit that coded for anti-freeze. So, for example, the tomatoes wouldn't have fish eyes or be able to swim. The way I imagine it (and obviously I could be quite wrong about how it would work, if it worked at all), he takes just the section of DNA (gene) that he wants for a specific purpose and splices it into his artificial virus. From the foot and mouth and avian viruses, he just takes the genes that allow pigs and birds to be really infectious carriers, not the parts that kill the pigs and birds. So is it okay if I leave the foot and mouth in there mVpoet

The offending 'schizophrenic' has now been removed

Excellent.

(This schizophrenic thanks you.)

I was just listening to the voice of reason

A good voice to listen to...requiring no tinfoil hat for protection.

Greetings Lit by ye blob, the Underguide would like to light this Project with ye UG blob...

Congratulations Tibley Bobley on UG selection and being the UG Gem of the Month.

Here's the QA opinion in full "Fine writing at many levels, this. Making the premise of the story plausible needed quite some skill. Though the author is playing to her strength in the psychological horror genre, the devices used make this piece very distinctive. The obsessiveness of the central character is reinforced by the fastidious detail of the descriptive passages. The changes of voice and the clipped, staccato sentences give the piece its agitated feel. The self-dialogue is a powerful evocation of madness and the essential banality of the scene contrasts effectively with the enormity of the action taking place.
If I have reservations, they’re about the final paragraph. I felt a little cheated by the part after “far too late”, which seems to leave a hitherto uncompromising plot in limbo.
Maybe the best yet from an impressive writer who is determined to avoid the obvious."

Well done . There were only two entries in this month's round but this would have been gem of the month against most months' entries.
UGeds

It improved with some help from my AWW friends

Ye olde UG blob would be lovely. Thank you very much