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A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
in,need,of,some,tlc Started conversation Mar 9, 2003
Entry: id like some feedback on a poem i wrote - A992234
Author: in,need,of,some,tlc - U216724
im new so bear with me
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
Fishy - That's me! Posted Mar 9, 2003
Hello in need of some tlc
Nice poem, though the first thing I noticed was it's all in upper case letters (caps) 
As I'm sure you've already be informed, using 'caps' is considered as shouting here. It would look much better if you re-wrote it using lower case, and only upper case when appropriate, then readers could focus on the poem, and not just see the 'caps'. 
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
J Posted Mar 9, 2003
This is quite good. I've always had a soft spot in my 
for ryhming. I have no idea why, anyway 
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
in,need,of,some,tlc Posted Mar 9, 2003
There is a place of wich i dream.
The grass is green.
Im by the stream.
The pollen flurries in the air.
The birds fly by without a care.
This is where i go and hide.
Taking life in my stride.
I have no fear.
When im here.
In my dream.
By the stream.
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
Fishy - That's me! Posted Mar 9, 2003
That looks much better, and it is easier to read. 
There are some poetry Clubs here, you might like to add your poem to them as well as to here, though, I'm not sure where the poetry clubs are.
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
in,need,of,some,tlc Posted Mar 9, 2003
im not sure where they are im new here and on webtv so limited to what i can do
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
Fishy - That's me! Posted Mar 9, 2003
I'll have a look, get back to you soon.
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
Fishy - That's me! Posted Mar 9, 2003
I only managed to find one, you might be able to find others through this one.
Lost Poetry Office A433793
Good Luck
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
J Posted Mar 9, 2003
What about Vogon poetry corner?
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
nadia Posted Jan 21, 2005
I don't have much to say about this except that I don't think it's good enough to stay here indefinitely.
suggesting a move.
N
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
Spynxxx Posted Jan 21, 2005
I knew this one would come up quickly!
I second, but recommend that you check the conversation section. The "reply" poem by Agi IS good, much better than the submission in my eyes.
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
Kat - From H2G2 Posted Jan 21, 2005
*mouth twitches amused*
Yes the reply IS good...but only works as a reply unfortunately...perhaps I'll take it and put it somewhere with an explanation.
Key: Complain about this post
A992234 - id like some feedback on a poem i wrote
- 1: in,need,of,some,tlc (Mar 9, 2003)
- 2: Fishy - That's me! (Mar 9, 2003)
- 3: J (Mar 9, 2003)
- 4: in,need,of,some,tlc (Mar 9, 2003)
- 5: Fishy - That's me! (Mar 9, 2003)
- 6: in,need,of,some,tlc (Mar 9, 2003)
- 7: Fishy - That's me! (Mar 9, 2003)
- 8: Fishy - That's me! (Mar 9, 2003)
- 9: J (Mar 9, 2003)
- 10: nadia (Jan 21, 2005)
- 11: Spynxxx (Jan 21, 2005)
- 12: Kat - From H2G2 (Jan 21, 2005)
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