h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A604162

Hi,this is my new entry....pretty raw.
Any comments would be very nice....

THANKS!

Hi, ille!
I have only just come across your entry (I was searching for entries that mentioned Mahler) - I don't normally hang out here in the Writers' Workshop, but I have quite a few comments I can offer.

First, as far as general background is concerned, I am very interested in classical music and especially in opera, and I have written a few guide entries on opera. Another person who has written about classical music is Gnomon (who is on holiday at the moment).

Anyway, I think your entry is aimed too high - I suspect the number of researchers here who know anything about Lieder/Art song is extremely small (and the number who actually listen to it even smaller again!) So I think you need to expalin what is meant by Lieder or art song first, either at the beginning of this entry or in a separate entry.

I think you should change the font size back to normal for the whole entry - with my screen settings it is almost unreadably small.

The style of English you use makes a slightly peculiar effect: it sounds as if you first composed some complex sentences in your own language, then translated them very literally into English, but unfortunately a lot of the English sentences don't quite work. If you phrased your thoughts in simpler terms first, and then translated, I think the effect would be better. For example, in your first sentence, you say:
'A name could not be ignored while mentioning to artistic magnificence, Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau, the great interpreter of art songs.'
A more direct sentence like:
'Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau is one of the world's greatest interpreters of art songs.' would make a clearer first impression.
You use the word 'infamous' a couple of times, but this word usually means notoriously bad, not good! You should use 'most famous' or maybe 'world-renowned' when you are talking about his best-known work.

With regard to the content, I think you should mention that he is a baritone near the beginning of the entry, not at the end. (Only a real enthusiast will know that Verdi's Posa was a baritone part!). I think a mention of the first performance of Britten's War Requiem would be nice, too - as far as I know Britten specially wanted a German singer for the baritone part, with an English tenor and a Russian soprano to stand for the combatants in the 2nd World War.

Anyway, I hope this helps. If you are interested, I can certainly offer more comments. I think it is a very worthwhile topic, and you obviously have a great depth of knowledge of it. If you want more general conversation about classical music in the guide or outside it, just follow the link on my name and post a few remarks.
Best wishes,
Azara

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'The Writing Workshop' to 'The Flea Market'.

Hey, EDs! has Illie left the buidling?
I like this thing. Once its transltaed into English, it should be okay. I like the enthusiasm in this piece.

Flea Market clean out:

Leave in the Flea Market.

agreeing with broelan