h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Blunted - A47181422
Author: starrysongthrush - U13821056

Blunted, but searching furiously for the sharpene.....

Ah.

I learned something from this.

I learned how it feels to be a certain kind of person I can recognise from outside, but don't know from inside.

Thank you.

I'm a little confused in the last stanza, abut 'swimming the same stroke'. I mean, I get the meaning.

But since the image is of a bus, I'm not sure if swimming works.

Unless you add another line or image to put it in context.

thaks for your comments, the story within the poem is true, I actually got on a bus, (first time in years) and experienced this. You are right of course - 'swimming' is probably not the most apt word, but it is to do with, trying to keep going, trying to survive despite the recognition that old age is creeping up (not that I am that old yet) and when one has to swim to keep afloat, for a long while yet, one swims a 'slow stroke' so as not to expend all of ones somewhat depleted energies. Anyway your comments are most appreciated and I will give it some thought.
regards J

It rings true, is observant and effective imo. I really like it. I know these coping ladies.

The swimming didn't thow me, maybe because I used to swim a lot, and some of these coping ladies regularly attend there too, swimming slow lengths, no splashing, keeping the perm dry.

Thanks for posting this here,
Waz

thanks so much for reading it, glad it portrayed something to you and that it meant something
regards J.

I like this and I know what you mean.

I remember standing on commuter trains where everyone was sitting quietly and having an urge to start screaming, just to see what would happen. Never did of course.

I thought the line "tucked safely in an easy to get to pocket' was a bit awkward.

Like Llwaz, I can understand 'swimming the same slow stroke'.

Congratulations, starrysongthrush - having been voted for by UG Miners, your poem has been approved for inclusion in The Underguide

Here's what our QA had to say about it:

"Simple and effective, with just enough thought-inviting imagery to raise it above the functional. . . I noseyed around, to see where this place it describes really is. Somerset surprised me; I had Leeds. Poetry can take the reader's viewpoint. I also found 'Telling the Blackbird'. That's good too, though not exactly cheerful. We are voyeurs here sometimes, and now I understand the essential pessimism of this poem. I would have liked it better with the opposite claim, of staying sharp in spite of the blunting tide. But maybe that's just the reader demanding too much.'

Congratulations again - an UnderGuide Polisher will be in touch with you in the very near future

Well done, Starrysongthrush.

And here is the UnderGuide version - hope you like the look of it

A54909705