h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There was an old lady from Khartoum (1)
Who made a javelin shaped like a spoon (2)
Every time that she threw it (3)

There was an old lady from Khartoum (1)
Who made a javelin shaped like a spoon (2)
Every time that she threw it (3)
The wind gusted, and blew it (4)

till one day it enter her womb

A long time ago in Kentucky (1)

An old farmers son got so lucky (2)

He went out of his way (3)

for a roll tn the hay(4)

'til he realised he was sh@gging a wookie!! (5)

When young alfie grew into a man (1)

he decided to use his left hand(2)

He took a firm hold (3)

as if digging fer gold(4)

but it falling right off was unplanned! (5)

there once was a lady from glasgow(1)

Who spent all one day watching grass grow (2)

she watered it once(3)

Observed by a ponce (4)

who is workin her sellin her ass now(5)

There once was ayoung lad from Maidenhead (1)

who spent all his days laid in bed(2)