h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Pillowcase: Wow, dude, you have terrible friends. In my circle, we would, on occasions, get mind-reelingly drunk, but there was always someone who didn't have so much who was willing and able to take control and get them safely home. Many was the night I turned over my car keys, but there were also many episodes beyond that... the night in Sydney where one of the guys had to be literally carried down the street to the hotel room, kicking and fighting the whole way... the night in Portland when I had to break off what was clearly destined to be a fling with a cute blonde to take my friend to the hotel, before he ended up in a fight... the night I had to entice that same friend into my car by leading him with food like you might lead a dog, because he had already had too much but was determined to go into another bar... I could go on and on, but the point is, we always looked out for each other, and kept each other from doing anything overly stupid. Embarrassing and stupid was fine, and you were guaranteed to hear about it the next day, but harmful and stupid was simply not allowed.

And on the note of South Africa: high incidence of alcoholism isn't necessarily a cause, but a result of other problems, since too many people use alcohol as a coping mechanism. I would imagine there are some rather serious root causes to deal with there. Not that I'm defending drunk driving... as I said, I was always more than willing to surrender my keys when I had too much to drink, and we usually designated someone as "sober guy" for the night if driving was going to be involved. Drunk driving in the US gets quite a lot of press, but we actually have one of the lowest incidences in the world. We think we know how to party, but we're convinced the rest of the world is populated by sods. But I'm sure that our strong economic situation has more to do with it that the temperance movement ever could.

Don't blame my friends for what I did wrong! They were just guys, kids, loose and fancy-free. They did help me out: once when I was comatose and really messed up they actually washed me and put me to bed. So they did not do NOTHING; they just did not try to stop me from drinking.

My message is: the responsibility starts and ends with the drinker. You can't always expect other people to bail you out. But of course it is always good to help others out, and when there are people who can help YOU out too, so much the better.

That was all ages ago, I now have totally different friends, a different social situation. But if I was back there among the same crowd, all I would do is just not drink. I would still be able to enjoy myself as much, I would still be the life of the party (I hope... heaven forbid that my age starts to show), I would just do it without alcohol. I would be the one looking out for the others. Which is better, I think.

Coincidence? I'm also from South Africa. About alcohol being a coping mechanism - what else would it be for? Down here times are tough, most definitely, and equally definitely there's a lot of drinking going on. Not a tough connection to establish. Happy to hear you guys in the US are so considerate and responsible, glad to hear that your society is stable and prosperous. Spare a though for us less fortunate individuals.

All the best. - Case

That oughta be thought.

Ah, I see the "conspiracy theory" fear is amongst all of us! Yeah, I'm still attending parties and working in pubs, etc., but not drinking or taking any nasty chemical brain "enhancers". Just playing music. Nice to hear that the States is in such a good state. I'm buggering off to Ireland in a few short months, not that I think SA is a crap place, or anything....

This one has really raised some debate, not argument in my mind.

Drinking is a very personal thing and this has come across if you just look at the opposing views in the thread. Some like it, some don't.

Personally I do like it, and despite having done a few stupid & embarassing things whilst drunk I would never ban it in any form. For a start alcohol is too easy to make to be possible to remove from society.

The things I've done whilst drunk are usually things I feel too self-conscious to do whilst sober. Chat up that girl at the bar, karaoke , tell my friends how I feel. Drink hasn't made me do these, I'd probably do them anyway sooner or later. It acted as a catalyst.

My parents introduced me to alcohol at a very young age, 7 or 8 as I recall. My mother's homemade wine. We would sit around and they'd ask me if I'd like a glass. I'd try it & generally enjoy it. In a safe & supporting atmosphere.

I've had some trouble with alcohol at university where I let it gain too much of a hold on me. Thinking that I couldn't have a good time without it. That was rubbish, but at the time rubbish I believed. Breaking the chain from drinking as a prerequisite of having a good time was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I feel that if I hadn't had the early introduction to alcohol I would still have gone through all this. Just later on in life, when people would be depending on me as a father, husband, employee etc and it would have caused much greater upset to both my life and others. Some feel I've damaged my career through the phase of drinking in uni. I'd rather get it out of the way now when my body can take a little more punishment and recover. It means I now know what I can and can't drink. I know when I'm about to throw up, pass out etc. I've learnt what I can do and I don't wonder if I can take that one more drink. I stop when I need to. It takes great will of the mind stop against the peer pressure, but is worth it.

I still do drink, but more often in moderation now. A beer with a film in front of the tv is often a good way to set the mind free after a days stresses. If you're not afraid of it, it generally isn't a bad thing to go back to. Being afraid of alcohol in my mind is allowing it to have as much control over you as being addicted to consuming it.

I don't think alcohol should be banned. Not at all. I am also not afraid of it. I just don't need it. How can alcohol be exerting any control over my life if I never even think about it? I just go on and do things, I never even want a beer, if people asks me if I want to drink something, I just say water. Alcohol is no factor in my life - how on earth can it be controlling me just as much as being addicted to consuming it? It's the same with bananas. I'm allergic to bananas, so I don't eat them. Would you say that my fear of bananas is controlling my life because I don't eat them?

Speak not so harshly of Karaoke! I recently made good contact with a girl through just that, uhm, thing... you know..

Not the point. A plea for help is more the point...
I have a friend who is showing signs of alcoholism. He tends to neglect paying his rent in favor of buying alcohol. In addtiton he is more and more reluctant to participating in those things we (the group of friends) do when we're not partying. His behaviour (sp?) when drunk is also sometimes aggressive and even self-destructive. It is beginning to scare me. I am quite worried for the boy...
Does anybody have ant good ideas as to what I can do to help? Anything is appreciated.

Sorry if I got the mood down, but I guess this is the most appropriate thread...

JAR

Pillow: You imply that alcohol has the ability to control you. Well, perhaps it does for some, but for most of us, it is quite the opposite. I control the alcohol. When I want a drink, I take one, when I don't, I don't. And when I have had enough, I stop. I did the puking-in-the-sink-at-the-club phase, and now I know my tolerances very well. Gotta work the next day? I'll just have one or two. Having a party and don't have to drive? Let's get fuschnickered!

JAR - First of all, you can start by talking it out with him. A really good friend has that ability to tell you quite honestly and frankly when you're screwing up without damaging the friendship. That's not to say he might not end up cussing at you then and there, but he'll listen and just may take it to heart later because it came from you. And if the rest of your friends chime in, so much the better.

Now comes the hard part - don't help. It has been often said that people need to hit rock bottom before they realize they need to change. Your assistance will prolong his fall. So if he is not paying his rent and gets kicked out of his place, don't let him stay with you. Especially if he's becoming a violent drunk... you don't need that anyway.

Colonel Sellers, who habitually uses karaoke as a way to impress the ladies

Thanks, I'll try that. Just hope he doesn't get violent on me... He's big, I'm not... He probably won't.

Who invented karaoke? And what possessed him/her to do that?