h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We all take a few liberties with the rules.
Xpected (isn't it?) when we reach these tricky backend letters...

Yes, very true.

Zoos are interesting to visit.

Animals can be found there
Bears
Camels
Dingos
Elephants
Fish
Giraffes
Hippos
Iguanas
Jackals
Kestrels
Lizards

Monkeys
Newts
Otters
Penguins
Quail
Rhinocerous
Seal
Turantula

Unless im mistaken........(has happened before)there are

Very few animals

With names begining with these last few letters.....

X-cept maybe one........

You tell me.......lol

Zebra......is all i can think of.....

Ark.
Build an Ark.

Cubits are the things you need
Don't ask me what they are
Even I'm not that old
Forget the wisecracks
Granny Weatherwax'll
Have her revenge
Inches & feet I
just remember
Kilometres are the units of
length I use
metres for the small stuff

No matter what you measure in, feet still stink.

Odourous
Pedicures
Quite nice
Really good washing helps
So does
Talcumn Powder
Uncomfortable itches
Very nasty
Would be cured of fungal diseases

X-tra nasty, those feet.
You know, I try to keep mine covered.
Zip my boots up and keep walking.

Away you go then

Bye for now
Can you get me a six pack whilst you're out
Don't get Boddingtons
Except in an emergency
Foul stuff
Gin is nasty too
Have one on me for going
I'll put the kettle on
Just to make a hot toddy
Kind of me isn't it?
Lemon?

Maybe!

Now would you like honey as a sweetener
Or sugar
Perhaps you're sweet enough?
Quickly switching off the kettle
Ruins good scotch tho
So hows the job search
There's not a lot about
Unfortunately
Very difficult up here in the North

Well, yes, so it is!
Xactly!!
You know anywhere???

Zanadu isn't anywhere near you is it?
All depends on what line you're looking for
Badly paid jobs are two a penny
Can't really see you working at MacDonalds
Even tho' you could be a 5 star wizard!!!

Fifteen is what I am asking
Gandalf IS a wizard!
Helping customers is my game
In the communications field preferably
Just a couple of assistants I will need
Keeping people in touch with each other

Lancashire area,
Make it
Near
Preston!

Quite far away from where I live...
Remember to open up franchises when it's successful.
Sound like a good idea?

Touchy thing, job hunting.
Unfortunatly there are more people looking than there are good paying jobs.
Vexing situation, but not without hope!