h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Cor! What was all that about?

Don't ask me
Even though I wasn't shutting the window
Foul high winds caught it
Gale force even (claiming extra points for backwards entry)
Hurled it from my hands
Inevitably slamming it
Just under the nail on my index finger
Kinda hurt
Lots of blood
Me a hopping & a cursing
Now bandaged up
Obstinately typing on
Painkillers help
Quite a lot
Rather be drinking beer
Sodding window.......

Too bad, Granny...
Ungrateful window.
Very sad to hear about all that!

Well, I'm back!!!

X-tremely funky day at my house.
Yelp, Granny! I think I'm going to cry!

Zee day is brightened by your return, Gandalf...

Ah, the wise wizard has returned.
Beatitudinous greetings Gandalf
Could you explain where you've been?
Don't feel you have to
Elemental forces must have kept you away
Fire & brimstone perhaps
Grand to have you back

Have something to eat.
I think we ought to put furniture in here.

Just about time to put the thingy on....
Kettle, that's what I was looking for
Lost it you see
My memory isn't what it was
Now, where's the beer
Old Granny can alwasy find that

Perhaps we could use some furniture here after all.
(*Quietly hoping for addition of a well stocked bar*)
Reminiscing over a few beers always improves the memory I find.
Something about putting the brain into a familiar drunken state.

Tables
Ukeleles
Violets in bowls
Washtubs
Xtraordinary selection of furniture.

Zibelene carpet *had to dig for that one*
A huge stone fireplace.
Beams across the high ceiling.
Couches...lots of them.

Duvets on the beds
Existential lamp shades
Flowers in bowls, petunias?
Garage for the space ship?
Huge bar
Ironing board for the H2G2 tee shirts
Jonquil for the walls I think
Kaleidoscopes for entertainment
Lots of squishy cushions

*Meanders around comfy room, fixes drink*
*Nestles into a couch by the fire*
Oh, my...this is cozy!

Pardon me, but you're sitting in my spot.
Quite an interesting couch this.
Reminds me of a Vermicious Knid.
Saliva seeping?
Tell me I'm not going to be swallowed.
UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Very interesting...
Well, I'll just take that couch over there.
X-cuse me!
Yes, I am clumsy sometimes.
Zee feet don't work sometimes!

Aren't you going to help me??

*babbles incoherently*
*cries out*
Damn you, ox!
Enzymes are melting my flesh and you're just going to sit there?
Figures.
Guess I'll just die now.
Hel- oh what's the use?

If you really must make such a fuss about it..
Just don't come running to me when your legs are all shrivelled up and dissolved
Knock on someone else's door
Live and let live
Motto for all weird characters like you!
Not that I am not moved by your
odious
plight
Quite the contrary
Right now, I am just too
sodding
tired to bother.

Uvula's going now
Very typical of someone like you to just leave me like this!
Why can I talk if my uvula's gone?
X-Files could probably explain this.
You are the most insensitive person I've ever met!
Zee what I mean?
Alright, fine.
Barely a head.
Come on, stupid beast.
Don't stop now.
EAT ME!
'F I could just think of some way to save the remnants of my head, I could sell it for enough money to buy a body.
Good thinking, brainiac. I won't have a head.
Heads are very overrated you know.
Idiots like you get along well without one
just fine.
Know what I mean?
'Lo? You still there?

Me?
No!