h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Use the cat.


Geggs

Thursday is not a good day

If the hat fits, change your socks.

my mother can dance on tables

You can't tell that to a deaf porcupine and expect it pull its socks up.

The plural of mongoose should be monghi. Or possibly even munghi.

On the internet nobody can hear your motherboard scream.

Start here.




No, here.

He has a deep baritone moo that will appeal to Yvonne.

Gorillas should be banned from reading the news. It's a question of bias.

To see all the details that are visible on the screen, use the print link next to the map.

Deathly empties.

Great happiness can be derived from the contemplation of a duck.

Goldifish in a mirrored bowl are never lonely, as the actress said to the bishop.

"The Happening" by Diana Ross isn't about carrots! Speakers' Corner is laughing at you!

He must have gone to bed at the same time as me, because he just yawned when I did.

Oh, it doesn't work like that, does it?


Geggs

The printer's doing nothing for me.


Geggs

Don't touch the washing machine!


Geggs

It's an excessive amount of custard.

You waited until now to tell me that?! So that means I've just spent three hours lubricating the wrong monkey?!